Her Lily Complex
by water phoneix2
Summary: Hermione is so sick of being compared to Lily,both of them, her late sister and her friend's mum, she wants to be aprieciated for her, can Severus Snape give her that desired attention or will they tear each other apart? please review and enjoy
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at a Harry Potter fic guys so please be nice. I can't always guarantee regular updates because I am writing another fic and I am prone to writers block but I will do my best and I hope you like it.

OOOOOH by the way this is for anyone who has seen the latest film... the bit with McGonagall and the stone soldiers ... did anyone else think it was kind of like a messed up Bed knobs and Broomsticks?... no... Just me ... okaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

The final battle has already happened Snape and Dumbledore are fine...undecided about Sirius ... most of them are fine cept voldemort and his guys... feck it if I mention them as being alive then they're alive.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, if I did then things might have been different ... very different.

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><p>Hermione sat tapping her fingers on the table, tears were trying to fight their way forwards but she refused to let them. That woman will not see her cry, she wouldn't let her. She sucked in a deep breath and held for as long as she could before releasing, anything to calm her down. Her father had noticed though and reached across and gently squeezed her hand before standing and putting a restraining hand on his wife's shoulder. They both knew Jean didn't mean any harm but it didn't stop her words hurting.<p>

"Hermione head girl is such an honour. I wish your sister was still here, she would have made head girl for sure. She was such an intelligent, pretty girl. Such lovely hair, she got that from me you know." Her mother continued but Hermione zoned her out.

Why? Why couldn't her mother just congratulate her for _her_ achievements without bringing up her sister? Her perfect sister, beautiful, clever. Couldn't put a foot wrong.

Lily.

Lily. Lily. Lily. Everything revolved around Lily. Hermione won an award, Lily had six, Hermione was top of her class, Lilly was top of the school, Hermione was invited to Hogwarts but why was that important when Lily had been requested to go to one of the finest young ladies collages in Britain. Lilly was older than Hermione, she was the miracle child they didn't know they could have. Hermione was the second born with big teeth and bushy hair. She wasn't a social butterfly like Lily. She was nothing in comparison to her sister, not in her mother's eyes and to an extent her father too.

She thought she had finally escaped it when she went to Hogwarts but there was a Lily there too, a bright, beautiful muggle born girl, all the professors loved her, said Hermione was walking in her shoes and Hermione was miserable again. It was like being at home again with the only difference being the Lily.

Hermione loved her sister, no-one should think otherwise. Lily was a wonderful big sister, she looked after Hermione when the bullies set in, taught Hermione what she was learning in class because she was advanced and getting bored in her own lessons, she even tried to get her mother to stop with the constant comments. Hermione felt so guilty for feeling jealous but she couldn't help it. She felt like she was being made to compete and she would always lose no matter what she did.

Then Lily had her accident.

(Flashback)

Hermione remembered the day so clearly. It was during the Christmas holidays of her first year at Hogwarts, they were meant to go skiing but that fell through because Lily had hurt her ankle. That had upset Hermione enough since that had been the only reason she had come home, she had wanted to help her new found friends but her parents had made such a big deal about it. Her mother was being her usual self; it went on and on until Hermione couldn't take anymore and she had ran out of the house crying. She ran into the woods across the road and kept running till she felt arms around her waist. She had screamed and screamed, she was so panicked that she had an accidental burst of magic but it had hit a tree and not the assailant. It was a good minute of struggling before she was pinned to the floor. A hand clamped round her mouth and the other grabbed her hands so she couldn't hit them anymore.

"HERMIONE!"

She remembered looking up and the relief filling her when she saw her sister's big blue eyes and long straight hair. "I'm going to let you sit up but please don't run again, okay, cause that really hurt. Knackered ankle, remember." She sat up and got off from Hermione sitting next to her.

"I tell you what kid you can't half run. I mean you were like a whippet, you were gone." Hermione remembered laughing involuntarily; Lily was good at that, making people happy again. They were both covered in mud and leaves sat in the rain laughing. "I'm so sick of not being good enough Lily, why aren't I good enough for her?" Lily pulled her onto her lap and hugged her tightly, "I'm sorry sweetie I really am. I've told her to stop; it isn't fair to you or me. I'll have another talk with her when we get back. I'm so sick of her doing that to you, I'll talk to her."

They could hear their father's voice calling them so Hermione called him over. He just got into view when she noticed something wrong. The tree she had hit was swaying and there were tiny sparks appearing on the bark. "Um Lily, we need to mov-" It happened so fast, she hadn't even finished before the enormous tree started to fall, Lily grabbed her and threw her out of the way just as it toppled down and then she was gone. Hermione screamed as the now flaming tree landed on her sister hiding her from sight. Her dad rushed forwards and tried to lift it but it was too heavy, too hot. Hermione was hysterical as her dad tried to lift it unsuccessfully again. Then it hit her, levitation spell. She didn't know if it would work, she didn't have her wand but she had to try. She just had to.

"Wingardium leviosa." She thought she had failed until it started to twitch and sway again, slowly but surely it began to lift. "YES HERMIONE, KEEP GOING BABY I ALMOST HAVE HER!" Her father was trying to encourage her but if anything it was distracting her. She kept it going and going till was a foot off the ground and her father slipped under and dragged Lily out. She let it fall when he was clear and Lily was 'safe' in his arms. "Hermione run ahead, call an ambulance. Hurry, now!"

She remembered running faster than she had ever run before, she didn't stop until she was in her kitchen. Her mother was stood talking with a group of people, one woman tried to grab her as she ran past but she tore herself away from her grasp and clutched the phone, slamming the numbers in. She was aware of her mother trying to talk to her but she wouldn't reply.

"Hello-hello I need an ambulance. Please my sister... I need an ambulance. There was a tree and... She's burnt she has to be. My dad's carrying her back but... I don't think she's breathing. It's 32 Howard Field Road. Please hurry!" By this point her mother was hysterical trying to find out what had happened and Hermione was having a panic attack.

The woman who had tried to grab her came and held her trying to calm her. "Miss Granger, calm down dear. What's happened?" it was only when Hermione heard the Scottish lilt in her voice that she realised that it was Professor McGonagall holding her up. She was so confused but before she could make any sense of anything her dad arrived. Then all hell broke loose.

Her mother was screaming and Hermione was beside herself "It's my fault, my fault, all my fault." She was shaking as she watched her dad doing CPR, it was then that her Professor took her out of that room and into the next "You don't need to see this child, come with me, it's all right. It will be all right Hermione."

The old woman held her till she cried herself to sleep and then when she woke she already knew. Lily was gone. She could see it in her Professors' face, she had killed her sister. It didn't end there.

She looked around the room at three familiar faces, Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore and oddly Professor Snape and two people she didn't recognise at all. She didn't see her mum or dad anywhere and she felt so frightened.

"Lily's gone isn't she?" "Yes Miss Granger. I'm so sorry." Professor Dumbledore's eyes weren't twinkling like she had gotten so used to. They looked at her brimming with pity and pain. She could feel her throat closing up as she struggled to breathe. McGonagall sat next to her trying to calm her down when they were interrupted by a noise Hermione came to dread in latter life

"Hem hem."

All three professors turned to glare at the frog faced woman who decided that this was the time to make herself known. "As bad a time this is we do have important things to discuss, such as, for example, Miss Granger's immediate expulsion from Hogwarts." "WHAT!" Hermione felt the tears she had been fighting so hard forcing themselves down her face. "Professor, what does she ..." she was cut off by the iron faced scottish woman as she span around and muttered something under her breath to the toady woman. Whatever she said seemed to fill the woman with fear as she started going pale and backing out of the door. "Well... um well I think you have this covered Minister Fudge, I shall, um check the crime scene again for any evidence we may have missed." And with that she popped out of sight.

"Professor, what does she mean?" Hermione was looking at Professor Dumbledore for answers. He sighed and pushed his glasses up his face. He looked at her carefully before starting. "Well Miss Granger, as you know children under a certain age aren't allowed to perform magic outside of Hogwarts, especially in muggle areas and you did, twice. We know that one of those bits of magic was an accident but the other wasn't. Under usual circumstances this would result in immediate expulsion but we know what happened. We've spoken to your father and seen what he saw happen but now we need to from you."

The man sat next to Professor Snape spoke next.

"Miss Granger, there is also, this is quite delicate, there is also the matter of your magic causing your sisters unfortunate demise." Hermione started crying even harder. "Oh please Hermione, can I call you Hermione? Please don't cry. I'm sure we can sort this out. It'll be over as quick as we get a statement and of course watch the event. We don't take pleasure in throwing little girls in prison." He laughed, clearly trying to put her at ease but all she could think was that they should put her in prison, she was a murderer.

"Severus, I don't think Miss Granger is in any state to try and take a memory for a pensive so would you please use legilimency and then provide us the memory, Miss Granger try and relax. It will feel unusual but you must try not to fight Professor Snape" Professor Dumbledore told her warmly.

She watched the black clad man kneel in front of her and put the tip of his wand to her head, she felt a moment of panic before there was a gentle pressure in her head and she found herself reliving her memories of the past few days.

She saw herself and Lily sitting in front of their parents as they said they couldn't go skiing because of Lily's ankle, Lily talking about her many friends at school and Hermione feeling so jealous. She felt him stop at the memory that caused Hermione to run out.

"Oh are these your reports girls?" as Hermione watched she felt, rather than saw, Professor Snape step next to her. The memory continued. Hermione's father praised her on a brilliant report before looking at Lily's. Her mother glanced at before huffing, "What's the matter mum?" Hermione had asked in all innocence

"What the matter is Hermione Jean Granger is this report. You think it's acceptable to be an '_obnoxiously persistent know-it-all '_with _'no consideration for fellow pupils and their education'?_ I thought you were better behaved than this, I thought we raised you better than this. Lily would never have behaved like this, her report is immaculate. This is disgusting."

Severus winced as he recognised the quotes as what he had written for the young girl who was now thoroughly in the firing line, sad thing was that was the best report he had doled out.

He watched as the sister cut in "Mum! It says in the headmaster's comments that she has the highest grades in all her classes and that includes chemistry" "Potions" Hermione quietly corrected.

"Yes Lily dear but grades are just the tip of the iceberg, this Professor Snape finds her behaviour way below par and that is not acceptable." This was clearly said as a finishing statement but Lily clearly wasn't done.

"No mum, Hermione is an excellent student. All her other teachers say she is, so what if one guy with a stick up his arse whines about her. I've had bad teachers too" Severus felt himself bristle at the girl's harsh appraisal of him. He watched the father warn Lily about her language but she was on her soap box now and she was going to fight for her sister. "NO! Dad some prick likes picking on little girls and she" gesturing at her mum "takes it way out of proportion."

"Now then Lily dear I didn't mean to offend, let's look at your report again. Come look Hermione it's wonderful. We're so proud of you Lily." He watched as Hermione tore out of the house, the mother called after her from her chair as the father stood but Lily hobbled past them before breaking into a run.

He saw the burst of magic and watched the tree slowly become affected as the girls talked. He watched Hermione try to warn the older girl, her sister threw her out of the way just before the tree landed on them. He knew from watching that it was game over for Lily instantly, Hermione had accidently cast fiend fire, the reason it took so long to take was because it had been accidental and for true fiend fire there has to be intent. The girl was dead before she hit the ground. He watched, amazed, as Hermione cast a wandless Wingardium leviosa.

Because there was a lack of intent behind the original spell it died out like an ordinary fire. He pulled out of the girls mind; he didn't need to see what happened after that.

There was no trial, they all agreed that it was accidental magic which caused accidental death, and the second piece of magic had been performed with the intent of saving a life so again there were no repercussions. This was clearly a tragic accident. The Grangers had suffered enough without their remaining daughter being thrown into prison.

(End flashback)

Neither of her parents blamed her but that didn't stop her feeling like they should. She hadn't told anyone at Hogwarts about her sister so she had to go back for the rest of the year and pretend everything was fine. She had to have regular, secret checkups with Professor Dumbledore and, for reasons she couldn't work out, she was put into weekly therapy sessions with none other than Professor Snape.

She didn't understand why Professor Dumbledore put her with him but she felt like she couldn't argue with them. Snape hadn't seemed happy either but he didn't seem to hold it against her, most of their sessions were spent with her watching him brew and answering the occasional question he threw at her. How was she sleeping? How was she feeling? Had she told anyone else? How was her relationship with her parents? ... Most days she was glad for the quiet. He gave her a diary to write in everyday which she did, she expected him to ask for it but he never did. What she didn't know was that he had an identical diary in his rooms which had the entries she wrote appear in automatically.

Right now she was listening to her mother once again compare her to Lily. How Lily would have been such a good head girl, Lily would have been brilliant at blah blah blah.

Hermione was expected to go to school early so she could get used to her new duties and so she could recommence her weekly sessions with her potions Professor. She felt like she should call a halt to their sessions. Recently she had been feeling... something new for her Professor, she found herself craving his company. Her usual nightmares were being invaded by thoughts of him kissing her, caressing her, fucking her. Stupid school girl fantasies. When she woke she wanted to put it in her diary so badly but couldn't for fear that he would ask to see it. She couldn't tell her friends they'd think she was crazy and maybe she was.

This year she was going to be on her own, Harry and Ron and Ginny weren't coming back. Neville had married Luna and they were travelling the world before coming back the year after to take their final year. She didn't know anyone else's plans but she knew there was enough of her year coming back that meant they were counted as the final year which was why she could be head girl.

She packed her things carefully before saying goodbye to her parents she walked back upstairs and drew the curtains. With a deep, calming breath she apperated to her home away from home.

She walked through the gates which were charmed to let her in and started the long walk up to the castle, her suitcase floating along beside her. She was glad of the quiet in comparison to the noise of her mother. There was a slight breeze that was so refreshing that she slowed down so she could savour it longer. She had three weeks before the rest of the children got there and Professor Dumbledore had told her in the letter that the head boy was unable to come for this pre-term time. She wasn't surprised it was half of the summer holidays; if she hadn't been so desperate to get away she doubted she would have come either.

As she neared her destination she saw a light, she assumed it was Professor McGonagall or someone waiting for her so she sped up. By the time she got in proper sight of the person she had realised her mistake. There was no way this person was Professor McGonagall, they were too tall, too masculine. She couldn't make out the face though as the glare from the wand hid it. She was almost all the way up the stair before she worked out who it was.

"Professor!"

"Hurry up Miss Granger. I do not wish to be out here all night."

"Yes Professor Snape."

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><p>Okay so that was completely obvious but there you go. This chapter is soooo long winded so I'm sorry about that but I just felt like for this story to make any sense it needed this as a base.<p>

I hope you like this chapter and I really hope you review. Like it or not leave me a review and let me know what you think. Now I have the foundations out of the way I can focus more on developing Severus and Hermione's relationship. I'll try get the next chapter out as quickly as I can but not too quick or it'll be worse than this chapter... **i'm so confused by the new guidelines so can some one please tell me what is the difference between an M and Ma- more specifically can I still write a lemon because that was what i eventually intended but if im not allowed then this will be an M for says adult themes but not like strong themes so what exactly does that mean for lemons. I feel like a real idiot but i kinda need to know... sorry haha **

Soooo yeah... review please


	2. paranoia and portraits

Guys I love you for adding me to your lists but please give me reviews. I love your opinions. I'm not getting too bothered because it's only been day but please remember to **review**. Pretty please =P xx I'll love you forever... cos im not desperate or anything...

I love that at the end of my last note it was fine in the live preview but it cut bits off on the actual thing... it should have said **'if I'm not allowed then this will be an M for language. On the guidelines for M it says ...'** **but** it didn't work and it made me look a bit daft... not impressed haha.

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><p>"Miss Granger, anytime you're ready to stop gawking let me know so I can go back inside." Professor Snape sneered at her. That snapped her out of her momentary daze. She hadn't expected to see him so soon and it had taken her by surprise but now she was just embarrassed.<p>

"Oh, um, sorry Professor I didn't mea-""Miss Granger are you determined to waste my time?" "No sir, no sorry." She grabbed her bag from the air and carried it up the last few steps. She followed behind her dark Professor sheepishly as he led her into the foyer. It seemed darker in the castle then it was outside. She reached for her wand and cast a quiet lumos as she tried to keep up the quick strides of her silent companion.

They made it all the way to the headmaster's office before he spoke a word to her and even then it was just a curt "Enter." Hermione squeezed past him to slip inside the well lit office. It was warm in there, the whole room being lit by the blazing fireplace. Fawkes was dozing on his perch behind the empty desk and the sorting hat was humming away from the top of one of the heavily burdened book cases. Professor Dumbledore sat in one of the comfy armchairs by the fire, sucking away on some sort of boiled sweet, presumably a sherbet lemon. He waved his hand at her to come and join him so carefully, so as not to knock over the piles of paper and books that littered the floor, she made her way over to him.

"Sit down my dear, that's it just put them on the floor, anywhere's fine." That was all well and good but Hermione couldn't see a spare bit of floor anywhere except right in front of the hearth and she didn't want to risk them burning so she put them on her lap and held them so they couldn't slip. The elderly wizard seemed to approve of her actions as he smiled widely at her before offering her a sweet.

"No thank you sir." "Well if you're sure, I'm sure you're wondering why your here." She nodded slightly; it did seem a bit odd that she had to come in to get use to her new duties... when there were no students. "We felt it might be best if you came in early to have some time to adjust to patrols." "But sir, I had to patrol when I was a prefect." "Ah yes but you will have to patrol more often and later. You can use this time to practice getting work done to a high standard whilst having to stay up late most nights."

Hermione was confused but she didn't say anything, did the Professor not think she was up to standard, if so why did he make her head girl? Lily wouldn't have been questioned about her ability to keep her work up. Maybe her mum was right; she didn't come close to Lily's ability. No, no she mustn't think like that. She did deserve this; she had worked hard for this.

"Erm, Professor. I'm really tired and I'm not feeling very well, may I go to bed?" "Of course Miss Granger, are you familiar with the portrait of the weeping girl?" "The little girl in the blue dress on the 5th floor?" "That's the one. Those are your new rooms for the remainder of the year, you can still visit the gryfindors but you have been provided with a sitting room, a bed room with ensuite and a small study. The password for the present is your full name so I'd suggest changing it when you get there." He smiled at the young witch as she thanked him and left. After the door shut firmly behind her Severus stepped out of the shadows.

"Albus, you did not handle that well at all." He sighed before taking Hermione's vacated seat, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thin fingers. "Whatever do you mean my dear boy?"

Severus sighed; he had a long night ahead of him.

_Hermione POV _

It took her a good five minutes to get to the 5th floor because the staircase moved on her twice. At one point and she wasn't entirely sure how, she ended up in the dungeons. Eventually she arrived to find a seemingly empty portrait. She couldn't see the little girl anywhere but she could hear tiny sniffles coming from the back of the painting.

"Excuse me, are you there?" she knew she was but this had to be handled delicately, after all she was dealing with an upset child.

"What do you want?" slowly a little brunette head peeped up from behind a large rose bush. "I would like to get into my new rooms please." Hermione watched the little girl shake her curly head. "No, these rooms are for the new head girl." "The password is Hermione Jean Granger." The little girl gasped and fresh tears rolled down her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm so stupid. I should have known you were the head girl and now I've made you cross." Hermione shook her head, the poor girl looked terrified. "No, no you haven't made me cross at all. Actually I was wondering if you'd help me, see um I need to change my password and I can't think of a new one. Would you help me?"

Hermione fought back a giggle as the girl got so excited. "Oh really? I'd love to, you could have your favourite colour or flower or the name of your best friend." Hermione smiled, the girl had gone for really obvious choices but Hermione had an idea to make the little girl smile.

"What's your name?" "My name, why do you want to know my name?" "Well you said that one choice could be the name of my best friend and I think I've just found a new best friend." The girl squealed with laughter. "Really, me? Elizabeth, my name is Elizabeth." Hermione smiled as Elizabeth wiped away the last of her tears and smiled brightly. "Well then, my new password is '_Elizabeth's blue rose'_ is that all right?"

"Yes it's wonderful. But before you go miss, why blue rose?" "It's the colour of your dress and the flower in the picture, this way I won't forget my password no matter what." Elizabeth giggled loudly as she swung open letting Hermione see her new rooms for the first time.

"Wow."

The living room was decorated beautifully. One wall was black and the others were a lovely shade of blue, the couch was a black fabric that looked so soft with two armchairs by a large fire place. She noticed her things had already been unpacked and put away which in turn made her realise that she had left her suitcase in the head masters office... oops. Her books filled the shelves along with some titles she didn't recognise and couldn't wait to get her hands on once she had finished looking round.

There was a small kitchen to the back of the room and when she looked she saw that it was fully stocked with anything she could possibly want. She notices that in the corner of the kitchen there was a small staircase which led to two more doors. She opened the first and it revealed the most wonderful bedroom she had ever seen. Three black walls were set off with one luxurious purple one, against the purple was the typical four poster bed but it was a lot bigger than the ones in the tower. There was a thick purple quilt on the bed with a black design on; it appeared to be a flower. There were a couple of black shimmery throw pillows on the bed as well, it looked so modern and perfect for her. There was a large chest of drawers that had all her pictures and jewellery boxes set out. The bathroom was huge. She couldn't wait to soak in the tub that had so many taps, she counted twelve on first glance.

Everything looked amazing and for the first time in since she got her head girl letter she felt excited and happy. She grabbed her diary and a pen and went to check out the last room.

This room was by far the best.

The 'small study' turned out to be a large circular room with bookshelves on every wall. Thousands and thousands of books on everything she could possibly imagine. There was a small fireplace with an armchair by it and to the right there was a desk with all kinds of stationary filling it. Hermione was so happy she couldn't help the slight shriek at this room which seemed built for her and her alone. She ran to the desk and began writing tonight's entry.

_Dear diary_

_This place is incredible! It's so much better than at home. And the books, this is without a doubt the happiest I have been since we left after the rebuilding of Hogwarts. Speaking of which I pretty much haven't seen any of my friends since then, well except for the odd shopping trip and of course Luna and Neville's wedding. Everyone's off doing their own thing since the ministry said it was our choice to come back or not. I'm so scared of being on my own. _

_Mum started in again today, telling me how fantastic Lily would have been as head girl, how Lily was this, that and the other. I love Lily so much but I'm really starting to hate her... if that makes sense. I loved lily but I hate the idea of lily, mum makes her out to be this perfect little Mary-sue that I can't compete with and I'm sick of feeling second best to her._

_ I get it, Lily was perfect, I'm not. _

_And now I think Professor Dumbledore doesn't think I can manage my duties as head girl, he's having me practice patrolling so that I can keep my work good, if he didn't think I could do it then why did he give me the position. I hope he isn't comparing me to her too, I know she was head girl to and she was meant to be the best that the school had had in such a long time. Other teachers do it all the time to my face I just hope he wasn't thinking that I couldn't live up to her. I'm know being paranoid but...I had to get out of that office, it's been so stressy this last week that I actually thought I would cry and that would have been so embarrassing. I'm so sick of crying all the time, I'm pathetic. _

_I don't know whether I'm still meant to see Professor Snape this year, he didn't mention it before and I didn't dare ask. I think I really annoyed him this evening and the sad thing is I don't know what I did, well I mean I did stare at him a bit but that was only because I hadn't expected him to meet me. Not that I think he wanted to. Professor Dumbledore must have told him to come. _

_Last year we had one of our weekly 'talking' sessions tonight but without knowing if I'm still wanted I don't want to go. This is so silly, why can't I just write him a note or something? Why am I so scared?_

_I just won't go and if he sees me tomorrow he might tell me what's going on and if not I'll assume I don't have to go anymore._

_Well good night. _

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><p><em><span>Severus POV<span>_

"Albus, I told you that that needed to be handled carefully, instead you filled that girl with self doubt." A set of twinkly blue eyes stared at him confused. "But Severus, she didn't suspect a thing."

"No, that's right; she didn't suspect that I told you to bring her here or that we had too anyway, now she thinks you don't think she can do the damn job." "How would you-"the raven haired man raised his eyebrow at the old man. They both knew how he knew. "Severus what have I told you about randomly using legilimency on the students?" "It wasn't random and you caused this by putting her in my care. You told me you could come up with something convincing which is why I agreed to let you handle it. What would have been wrong with telling her the semi truth? That you want her to train to be a professor."

Judging by the look on his face Severus could clearly see that Albus hadn't thought of that option at all. Severus knew the old man had a lot on what with having to look over the entire curriculum for every year and every class in every subject but 'you need to practice doing work and patrolling' is the worst lie he had ever heard. And he taught... real children with terrible, terrible excuses for why he didn't receive their homework. One kid once told him he forgot how to write! Another said she was allergic to the ink... which did eventually turn out to be true but still!

He kept talking to Albus for another 10 or so minutes explaining once again why he felt it was better for Miss Granger to get out of the stifling environment at home. He had noticed her entries becoming more and more depressed the longer she stayed at home; he had thought that would change when she got her letter but if anything it got worse.

Of course that was before they realised they probably didn't have a choice.

This year Albus, Minerva and Severus had found out that they had, essentially, been lied to. They were told there would be no repercussions for Hermione's actions in her first year, it had been agreed that it was a terrible accident. But that was until Umbridge had come to Hogwarts and had pegged Hermione a tearaway rebel. Since then she had been going out of her way to overthrow the original, unofficial ruling. It seemed that her temper tantrum had finally started turning heads and mere days ago they had received a regret filled letter from Kingsley saying that Hermione would be allowed to finish her education but once the year was up she would be taken, as a legal adult, to the ministry to be tried as a murderer with the added charge of being someone who performed magic in front of a muggle. The obvious defence was accidental death from accidental magic which had been the original ruling but there was no guarantee that would work in an official trial because of the type of magic she performed and her jealousy of her sister. They would try and say that it was deliberate because of that. It was a terrible situation.

Kingsley didn't think that the jury would convict the young war hero but it would damage her reputation irreparably. She would be rejected in their world and she had no qualifications in her own.

Kingsley had found a loophole; if she stayed at Hogwarts they couldn't touch her. After the last disastrous attempt of meddling by the ministry they signed an agreement with Dumbledore to not interfere with anything again unless asked. If, hypothetically, Hermione was offered a place as a Hogwarts professor then, hypothetically, the ministry couldn't touch her and Kingsley would have time to sort something out.

They had all been furious with the news. Minerva had threatened to kill Umbridge which, although no-one would blame her, would probably make things worse. The aging transfigurations professor had been so angry it had been decided it might be best for her to have some time to cool down before meeting up with Hermione to talk over the situation. Hermione was like a daughter to her and to think that that toady little bitch was deliberately out to hurt her really, really infuriated the woman.

As Severus made his way down to the dungeons he felt the small leather bound book in his pocket start to warm up indicating Miss Granger had made her nightly entry. He felt a small smile fight its way onto his face. When he had given her the book he had told he expected her to write in it every day he almost didn't think that she would. Then he thought about who he was talking to, Hermione Granger, the girl who wrote two feet of parchment when one was required and who read and re-read every one of her text books before she got to school. There was no way she would disregard the instructions of a teacher.

He got settled in his room with a glass of fire whiskey before reading what the girl had written tonight.

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><p>On finishing he felt confused; the teachers here didn't know Hermione's sister so why would they compare the girls? Not to mention her sister hadn't been head girl... what could the girl mean? It had also occurred to him that they hadn't set up their yearly schedule yet for this year. He was stuck with a conundrum, does he lessen the number of sessions this year or not. If he cut the number of sessions or how often they met she may think either that she was getting better and didn't need to see him so often or she might think he didn't want to see her anymore. From what he just read he felt she would go the second way. However if he didn't cut her sessions and she felt she didn't need them anymore it would set her back. What to do, what to do?<p>

He called his owl down from the rafters and scribbled a quick note for the girl telling her to come down to his office when she got the note, he knew she wasn't really sleeping but she didn't know that so he gave her the opportunity to wait an acceptable amount of time.

Normal Pov

Hermione slowly made her way down to the dungeons feeling rather nervous, as usual her diary was stuffed in her pocket for in case he wanted it. She couldn't imagine not having these sessions anymore; she used to tell her friends that she was in the library when she went to meet him. There was no way that Harry and Ron would understand without hearing about... didn't matter anyway because she had backed herself into a corner the first time she lied to them. If they had found out they would think that there was something going on. She knew them well enough to know that they wouldn't like the thought of her spending so much time alone with the man who had insulted them for so long.

So many times she had nearly been caught, she'd get back to the dorms and one of them would ask where she had been because they hadn't seen her when they came to find and soon enough it became lie after lie and she didn't know why. Therapy wasn't something to ashamed of but the act that caused her to need it was. If she wanted to avoid questions she could just tell them she questioned his marking and he flipped and gave her a years worth of detention... they would have believed that she would question a low grade and they hated the Professor enough to believe he was capable of that.

She knocked timidly on the dark wooden door. It swung violently open slamming into the wall scaring the shit out of her.

She didn't wait to be asked in, she learnt in the first week that he very rarely opened a door by hand, so she went and sat in the usual seat and waited for the grumpy man to arrive. She didn't have to wait long as he slipped in the side door and took his seat. He stared at her before speaking, she was getting really sick of people doing that, why couldn't people just speak to her? She was getting so caught up in her internal ramblings she barely noticed when he had started talking.

"Miss Granger, I'll get straight to the point. This years sessions will be decided by you."

"I don't understand sir."

"It's quite simple, do you think we need to keep the same number of sessions, increase or decrease the number or perhaps stop having them all together. What do you think?"

Hermione was speechless.

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><p>There you go, hope you like the chapter. Professor Snape put it to Hermione <strong>now I'm putting it to you<strong>

How many sessions should they have?In my head they started with four or five so should they

A)See each other less and have an absence makes the heart grow fonder kind of thing,

Should they

B) Have more and have a steadily closer relationship, keep it the same and see what happens

Oooooooorr

C)Stop the sessions and have something else bring them together... I don't know maybe something causes Hermione to need him again or maybe she finds him in trouble... not sure I'd work it out.

Review and let me know what you think please =) tell me what you think so far, like it or hate it.

I'm not going to beg or threaten you with no updates but I would like at least five reviews before the next one. I have to write it first so don't think I'm holding you hostage because I'm the kind of writer who just writes as the ideas come... and sometimes they don't... and then i'm screwed.

(I will accept pity reviews ;D ... no seriously they still count)

Wp2 xx


	3. dream jobs and nightmares

I agree with all my reviewers who answered in different ways and I hope it'll become clear when I write. I kind of struggled to work out where to go with it for a little while because all of your feedback made sense... damn you all for being so articulate! =P

Thank you for your reviews, I really appreciate it and I hope you enjoy my story.**'Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.' **Fave quote for the minute.

I want you to know that I wasn't holding you hostage because I got my reviews and I loved them all, I just really really struggled writing this chapter. Everything I wrote seemed really forced and I'm still not happy with it now but it's as good as I think it's going to get.

So so so so sorry about the wait.

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><p>.,.;,.,.;'..,';,.,,'<p>

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><p><em>Why would he ask me that? I thought we were ok but... he offered more. Maybe he thinks I need more and it would be nice to see more of him, he has been really helping me and it might be good to see him in general...NO, Jesus Hermione grow up, it's a crush, he does not feel the same way you pathetic numpty, I don't think I need more. He offered less too, maybe he thinks I don't need to see him so much, I don't think I'm ready to stop the sessions but maybe he'd prefer it if I didn't come at all. He must be busy and I must be taking up so much of his time. <em>She looked at her dark professor, _that must be it he must not want me to come anymore but he doesn't just want to tell me. _

"Maybe I don't need to come any more Professor Snape, I mean it has been four years. I'll, um, I'll go now sir goodnight." She rose dejectedly to her feet and walked to the door and as she was just about to leave she heard a snort from behind her followed by a sharp "Miss Granger, at what point did I say you could leave?"

She span around to look at her professor, "But Sir I thought you said-"she was cut off by the impatient man. "I know what I said you silly chit but I said it under the assumption that you would be honest with me. I thought you were meant to be intelligent, how is lying to me helping either of us. You are quite correct in your assumption that I am busy but do you really think that I would offer to continue let alone increase our sessions if you were interfering with my work. For the remainder of the holidays you _shall_ see me every day, which includes weekends Miss Granger. When the holidays come to a close we shall _see_ about reverting back to our old schedule and taking it from there."

Hermione felt dazed, that speech was almost like he had responded to her thoughts. But he couldn't have, he wouldn't... who was she kidding this was Professor Snape, he could and he would and he quite clearly had invaded her mind to find out what she really thought. That's when it hit her, if he had been in her head had he... did he hear what she had thought about him? Oh god she felt so sick, what if he heard, she could feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. NO, not again, she refused to cry again. She missed the days when every little thing didn't set her off.

Unbeknownst to Hermione fate had smiled on her. When Severus had invaded her mind he caught only the end of her internal monologue '_think I need more. He offered less too, maybe he thinks I don't need to see him so much, I don't think I'm ready to stop the sessions but maybe he'd prefer it if I didn't come at all. He must be busy and I must be taking up so much of his time. That must be it he must not want me to come anymore but he doesn't just want to tell me.'_

However due to his late entry into her mind he came to the wrong conclusion, he felt that the girl wanted more but didn't know how to ask. He had completely tuned her out momentarily as he thought about the girls concern for taking up his time, that, coupled with her stammered exit had made him lose composure and snort in a really undignified manner.

He felt like he had done the right thing until he saw the girl's eyes welling up, maybe she didn't want more and now felt like she had made no progress. Gods this was frustrating, he wanted to be careful with the girl whilst keeping up a professional distance with her. He couldn't let his personal feelings affect the way he handled such a delicate situation. He had watched her grow over the years, he found her funny and charming if slightly annoying. He hadn't been able to praise her work and efforts because of his duties as a spy but now...

Albus should have never put the girl with him in the first place, it had never made sense that he should look after her. It put them both in danger and it really pissed McGonagall off... all right so it had its benefits.

He had never been good with crying girls, that's why he was grateful to be head of Slytherin, the girls didn't cry and even if they did they sure as hell wouldn't be sat talking to him! Why was it so hard to comfort the girl, he had a theory why they had been paired up, they were both murderers after all. No, Miss Granger wasn't a murderer she was just too powerful at such a young age. "Miss Granger, I told you to come back, now sit down."

He watched the girl shuffle back to the seat before trying to arrange his thoughts. "Miss Granger, don't misunderstand me, you have been... making improvements. But rather we up the number of sessions and continue them till you do not need them anymore then try to fool ourselves that you don't need them at all resulting in you needing therapy for the rest of your life."

"It doesn't matter anyway sir, it's not like I'll be seeing you after this year and I'd have to start from scratch with someone else." Severus winced internally; she would if they couldn't sort something out. He refused to be the one who broke the news to her. Once again he was struck with the unfairness of it all, she had helped save the wizarding world and it was the same place that was trying to condemn her. The hypocrites still had control and the innocent suffered for it.

"Can you really be so sure about that Miss Granger, I wasn't aware that you weren't just another know-it-all that you were one who could predict the future too. If you could give me this week's lottery numbers I would be most appreciative." He twisted his lips into a smirk which almost became a smile when the girl's melodic laughter filled the room, almost.

Hermione sat back on the chair feeling slightly more at ease. If he had heard what she had thought, seen her fantasies, there was no way she would still be in here.

"Miss Granger, what are your plans for after you leave Hogwarts?" "You mean like jobs?" "Yes Miss Granger, like a job." Hermione thought for a moment, she had always wanted to teach but when she thought about it seriously she didn't think she could cope with dealing with people who didn't want to learn. Her patience only went so far and that isn't a quality that is good in teaching. Even Professor Snape had some level of patience with his students, it wasn't high but it was there.

She knew of the magical library in the Yorkshire dales, it was always looking for new librarians, it was meant to be one of the biggest in Europe. Extremely well hidden, running miles beneath the ground, over 72 floors above ground and more books then Hermione's wildest dreams. It was perfect for her, she wanted the quietness that only a library can offer, and she wanted the peace after living through such a terrible war. She wouldn't be distracted by absentee friends when she had all those books to take up her time.

"I thought about applying to be a librarian in the Morgana Library." This shouldn't have come as a surprise to Severus however he had hoped she would have mentioned teaching as a first plan or even a backup plan... so much for doing this subtly. He had hoped she would tell him that she wanted to be a professor and he could have then slipped her the work and it would all be sorted until Shaklebolt could sort something out. Then again, there was hope for this situation yet. He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, not to mention how difficult it was to get a job there even though they always want more helpers. He wasn't a spy for all those years without learning a thing or two about manipulation.

"Oh." Hermione looked confused, was something wrong with her choice? "What's the matter Professor?" "Hmm, oh nothing I just thought, that is to say you don't seem... never mind it isn't important." That got her attention, his opinion mattered to her and he seemed to be...disappointed with her chosen path. "No Professor, what is it?"

'_Come on Severus, really sell it.' _He stood and walked over to a cabinet for dramatic effect... and to get an ingredient he needed for a potion brewing to one side. He was aware of her eyes following him as he went over to his work surface and began delicately slicing the Night Rose root. "I trust I may be frank with you Miss Granger. Professor Dumbledore is not a young man and being headmaster of a school such as Hogwarts is a difficult task, so, to try and alleviate some of the pressure facing him some of the duties that would normally be the headmasters will now fall to the deputy head. That means Professor McGonagall will no longer be able to teach transfiguration, or at least not all of the classes. I happen to know that she had planned on asking yo-"He paused looking up at the girl, trying his hardest to make it look like he had said something he shouldn't have. His plan had worked, he could see the excitement in the girl's eyes, it was really quite endearing. '_Endearing? Get a grip Severus, she is a school girl, you are her teacher. You are in a trusted position; do not fuck this girl's progress up because you're going mental in your old age. That's right, old! There is nothing she could possibly see in you, stop thinking like a love sick schoolboy and GROW A PAIR!'_ he coughed to try and cover his frustration at his own thoughts. Recently his thoughts had been all over the place when it came to the curly haired witch sitting in front of him. He blamed the fumes from the cauldrons. Had to be the fumes.

Hermione was practically bouncing in her seat, Professor McGonagall thought she was good enough to take on her role and, if she had to pick she would want to teach Transfiguration. This was extremely exciting, there was nothing stopping her teaching and then retiring to the library. "That would be an incredible opportunity sir; I would love to, that is to say. Wow. Do you think Professor McGonagall would ask me sir." Severus smirked to himself, clearly he still had it. "Well Miss Granger I'm sure she would have but you don't seem to have an interest in teaching so I shall tell her and save you both the embarrassment of her asking only to be rejected. You are not to tell her what I have told you mind, this is in the strictest confidence."

"NO SIR!" He arched an eyebrow in her direction; this was really far too easy. "I mean, I would love to teach. I just didn't think that I'd be good enough at it. I don't think I have the patience to teach." He couldn't help snorting then.

"Miss Granger, you are friends with Longbottom, Weasley and Potter. You have the patience of a saint." She couldn't help but giggle, come to think of it she did teach them a lot, Neville's grades had gone up once he had started having private tuition with her, even in potions he had shown a big improvement.

"Miss Granger, you are not to say a word about this to anyone. You are not meant to know. You are dismissed." Black eyes watched her stand up and put the chair back in its proper position. He expected her to leave with a mumbled goodbye as she had after every other one of their sessions.

He was not expecting her to fly across the room at him. He stood in shock as the girl hugged him tightly, "Thank you sir, thank you so much." She giggled before letting him go, he watched as it dawned on her what she had just done and who she had done it too. Her face drained of its colour as she backed away from him, "I'm sorry sir...I, I'll just go." And with that she shot out of there.

Severus came to his senses when the sound of the door slamming reverberated in his ears. Well that was unexpected. Severus looked at the potion in front of him, there was nothing else he could do that night so he put a statis spell on it and made his way into his chambers.

He poured himself some fire whiskey before sitting in his favourite arm chair; he glared into the fire for so long he could see it behind his eyelids as they drooped shut. Hermione was a wonderful girl who had terrible things happening to her. She was so smart but in constant doubt of her abilities. She reminded him of himself, when he was younger and sometimes... not often but occasionally the look she got in her eyes, the spark, reminded him of Lily.

He snorted at that thought. They had a few things in common, their heritage, their intelligence and their love of their education but other than that the girls were nothing alike. Lily was always beautiful where as Hermione grew into her looks. Hermione was a paranoid over achiever where as Lily barley had to do any work to be top of the class. Lily drew people too her and she cast them aside when they crossed the line. Hermione held on to her friendships for grim death even after people constantly hurt her and used her. Lily would never have put up with the treatment that Hermione took on the chin. Severus couldn't decide whether that was better or worse, cutting things off if they didn't work or trying to fix them no matter what.

He loved Lily more than anything but a part of him had always wondered what would have happened if she hadn't have given up on him, if she had fought for him as fiercely as Hermione fought for Harry and Ron, would his life have been any different? He sighed, he was so tired. He felt like he was missing something right in front of his face but he was too tired to try and work it out tonight.

He got ready for bed as quickly as possible and landed face first on his bed; maybe he was sickening for something. For the first time for years he was asleep almost as soon as he had gotten in bed, he expected to have the usual dreams of Lily and a family... unfortunately for Severus this was not to be a relaxing night's sleep.

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><p>Severus sat in his personal library reading one of his potions journals, it was three in the afternoon and he was surprised that the children were still so quiet. The sun light filtered through the bay windows bathing the room in a wonderful, yellow, glow broken only by the shows of snowflakes dancing around.<p>

Slowly he rose from his chair and walked through into the hall.

"Lilly, are you there?"

"Yes daddy."

Severus turned, confused, to see his beautiful daughter running down the corridor to him. He picked her up and twirled her in him arms. Something was wrong, something had changed. Her hair was the same black as it had always been, she didn't have his nose and her porcelain skin was only marred with a few dark freckles but... something major had changed.

"Daddy, do you like my hair?"

Ah, so that was what it was. Her usually straight hair now lay about her shoulders in sleek ringlets and a pink bow rested at the top of them.

"Yes princess, it looks beautiful. Now Laura, where's your mummy?"

"I'm not Laura. Silly Daddy. Mummy's in the kitchen."

And with that she wriggled free from him and ran off with a giggle. He chuckled at the four year olds antics and left to find his wife in the kitchen.

He opened the door as quietly as he could and was rewarded with the delicious sight of his wife's supple arse wiggling in the air as she fished through the bottom cupboard. His years of a spy were serving him well as he snuck up behind the prone woman and spanked her lightly.

"Shit!"

She stood and span around into him laughing. Her riotous curls almost hitting him in the face, her hands rested lightly on his shoulders as she pressed a warm kiss on his smiling mouth... wait, curls?

"Lilly?"

"She's in her room Sev. You scared the heck out of me. I'm doing pasta for tea, do you want some?"

Severus looked at his wife properly for the first time and was terrified by what he saw. Instead of sleek, straight red locks she had brown curls sprouting from her head. Instead of crisp green eyes she had warm, dark brown ones. Her freckles were brown not the usual tan on her pale face. Where she should have been thin and flat she was curvaceous. This was not his wife!

"Miss Granger! What are you doing in my house?"

"Miss Granger? I haven't been Miss Granger for year's darling... Oh I see, you want to play. Well professor just you wait till the children are in bed and I'll show you exactly why I'm in your house."

She winked at him playfully and he couldn't help but feel a slight surge of arousal as she pressed herself enticingly against him and ground herself into him lightly. A small hand reached down and cupped him through his trousers and against his will he bucked into her teasing hand. But a little voice in his head kept screaming that this wasn't right... even if it felt so good.

"Where is lily?"

She pulled away from him with an odd look on her face,

"I've told you, I think she is in her room. I would prefer if you didn't bring up our daughter when I'm trying to seduce you."

She pecked him on the lips before moving away to stir some sauce that was bubbling away on the hob. Laura wandered in, her curly hair mocking him as it bounced around her cherubic face.

"Mummy, Daddy's being very silly today isn't he?"

Miss Granger laughed and picked up his daughter and held her closely.

"Don't worry darling, Daddy's always a little silly isn't he?"

Her sparkling eyes found his over the dark haired tot and again there was a playful wink as she set the little girl down.

"He called me Laura."

Hermione looked at him, surprised, before answering the pouting child.

"Daddy was probably still sleepy from his nap Lilly, don't worry about it. Isn't that right Daddy?"

Severus just nodded, he couldn't understand what was going on. A tiny part of him knew that this was just a dream but it was wrong. Lily was his wife not Hermione (When had he started thinking of her as hermione?) He wanted to be disgusted by Hermione's presence but... even now when he looked at her there was only warmth in his chest. When he looked at Lily there was the love but also a bitter ache that kept him aware of his dreaming state.

As things were Severus would be happy to stay here forever.

He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts that when he refocused he was in his bedroom, the darkness led him to believe that it was a lot latter than he had thought. He slipped his shoes off and sat on the bed. His head fell into his hands.

"Ah good, there you are. I've been looking for you."

His wife's voice was little more than a purr in the darkness of his bedroom. Severus looked around, straining in the darkness to see her. Hermione appeared right behind him, her arms wrapping around his chest.

Severus jumped and felt a moments panic till he felt her soothing lips on his neck. He loved having his neck kissed; it was one of his weaknesses. When he was with Lily he was so focused on making her feel good and, even though this was so wrong it felt so right.

She pushed him to lie flat on his back as she straddled his waist.

"I've missed you today Sev. I know you've been here but you've been so distant. But now-"

She leant down and placed a tender kiss on his lips, she moved round his face dotting sweet kisses wherever she landed.

"Now, the kids are in bed and you, mister Snape, are all mine."

Severus was torn, he was enjoying this but he couldn't stop thinking about Lily. Where was she? This wasn't right. Miss Granger should not be here!

"I want Lily."

Hermione sat up, her lips were thin and her eyes were flashing with rage.

"See this morning I wrote that off as you looking for our daughter. Our daughter who you insisted we name after the woman you loved and my sister. Now- I can't believe you're doing this Severus, you want Lily. She's dead Severus. Dead. And once again you are trying to make me live up to the shadow of a dead woman and I won't do it anymore Severus, I just won't! I love you Severus, I love you and she didn't but it's not enough. It will never be enough for you."

Severus felt paralysed as she got off him, he felt the scene shift around him but he couldn't move, couldn't speak.

"I'm taking the children Severus. You will never see any of us again."

No.

"I lived as long as I could in a shadow but I will not let you do that to them too. I've explained it to them, they think- they think we just don't love each other anymore but they know that we love them very, very much. Except that's not the truth, I love you but you have never loved me."

"That's not true, Hermione I-"

"Save your breath."

And with those chilling words she disappeared, faded out of view. The darkness that she left behind threatened to swallow him. But this was good wasn't it, he shouldn't have dreams about his students. His feelings had changed for the little chit over the years but surely it was just admiration, she was strong and powerful and driven. Those were attractive qualities..No! not attractive. What was wrong with him?

"Oh Severus."

"Lily."

"Severus, you have to move on, I'm sorry. If I had known how you felt about me when we were young maybe we could have tried, or maybe not. You were my brother Severus, my dearest friend. I failed you as you failed me. Severus you must let me go."

"No, I'll never let you go Lily; everything I have done is for you."

"And I am grateful, so very grateful. But Severus she is your future. I don't have much time, they don't realise I've gone. That girl, my son's friend, she is so broken Severus and its killing me to watch. She cares for my son in ways you can't but as soon as trouble stirs between her and the other one he turns his back on her. She needs you Sev. You both have so much in common but you must embrace it. Please Severus, for me. I want you happy."

"I want you."

"Do you? Really?"

"I don't understand."

Lily laughed, a sound that Severus would have once done anything to hear now filled him with doubt and confusion.

"No you wouldn't. I have to go now Severus. Please try."

"No, Lily don't leave me. Please."

But she was gone.

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><p>Severus's eyes snapped open, sweat poured of him. That Lily hadn't been what he usually dreamed. She looked like-like she did the night she died. Why would he dream of Miss Granger? He pressed his palms on his eyes and tried to rub the image away.<p>

A nightmare, nothing more.

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><p>Well there you go, I tried to get this chapter out but it did not want to be written at all! I hope its not too disappointing. Please review and let me know =) xx<p>

Again not holding you to ransom but if i could get five or more before the next chapter i would be very grateful. It shouldnt take nearly as long to get the next one out as it did this one, ive got maybe a quater of it written as we speak!... watch it take like a year now hahaha o.O

thanks again, let me know what you think

Wp2 xx


	4. meetings, musings and manifestations

Hope you enjoy it and please review =)

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><p>Hermione woke up bright and early the next morning. These rooms were so beautiful; she could stay here all day. She glanced at the clock, it was too early for breakfast and she had already completed all her holiday work. The sun was peaking in through the curtains, beckoning her outside. She grabbed her clothes quickly and slipped on her shoes. Now that she had decided to go for a walk she was getting quite excited.<p>

Carefully she picked up her diary and a pencil and put them in her beaded bag.

"Good morning Elizabeth."

"Good morning Hermione. It's a beautiful day outside."

"I know, that's why I'm going for a walk." Tears started welling in Elizabeth's eyes; of course she was already going for a walk. "Thank you for the idea Elizabeth, I was just going to go to the library but you convinced me that a walk was a good idea. I'll see you later ok."

Elizabeth's happy giggle followed Hermione down the corridor. It was going to be difficult getting used to such a temperamental portrait but Hermione liked her.

It was good to be home. The stone walls greeted her like an old friend, the drafty corridors didn't bother her anymore... almost, she pulled her hoody around her a little tighter. She had realised years ago that this was home, her true home. Her mother made it no secret that she blamed Hermione for Lily's death and why shouldn't she. Hermione knew it was her fault, whether it had been an accident or not.

Hermione headed straight for the lake, that was her go to place when she was outside. There was something so peaceful about the water lapping against the shore. The squid was floating on the surface when she arrived; its tentacles were reaching up to the sun. It was crooning and cooing at the warmth that seeped in though its thick skin. Hermione laughed as it sat up (do squids sit up?) and started spinning like a top. Hermione picked up and large rock and threw it for it. She had learnt in her third year that the squid was a big fan of the game fetch.

The creature dived down after the rock leaving Hermione with her thoughts for a while.

'_Why have they brought me in so early? It can't be the rounds thing, not really, that makes no sense. If they didn't think I could do the rounds and my work I would not have the position. There must be something else. Maybe it's so I can learn the ropes of teaching, that's if Professor Snape was right, I really hope he was.' _

Hermione snapped out of her musings in time to see a boulder whizzing at her head. She didn't even have time to raise her wand before it was blasted in front of her face.

"Miss Granger, are you all right?"

Hermione looked at the voice; a figure clad in dove grey robes was descending on her from the hillside, quickly followed by a man all in black. She couldn't properly make out their features because the sun was right behind them but she thought she recognised the voice.

"Mr. Malfoy?"

The blonde man came to a halt in front of her. His usually pristine hair was in a state of disarray and his robes were not sitting quite right on his frame. He took a deep breath to try and steady himself.

"Miss Granger, are you uninjured?"

"Yes sir I'm fine. Thank you so much though, that could have been nasty."

Professor Snape arrived next to his friend and the girl who still sat on the ground.

"Nasty, Miss Granger doesn't even begin to cover what would have happened if that had hit you in the face! What on earth were you thinking you silly little chit?"

Hermione's eyes filled at her professor's harsh words.

"Severus, there was no call for-"

"No Mr. Malfoy, that's fine. I understand professor that if that rock would have hit me I would have been seriously injured at best if not dead. I was lost in thought, it was an accident sir. Not that that matters though. That's been made perfectly clear to me."

Severus was gob smacked. It was blatantly obvious that she wasn't just talking about this morning. Four years had gone by and still she felt it was her fault. It had been an accident but she didn't care and it wasn't just her. Yes he had been hard on her but she had just nearly died because of her carelessness.

"Miss granger I-"

"Save your breath Professor."

Severus froze. Granger didn't notice but Lucius did. He jabbed his dark friend with his elbow as subtly as he could whilst trying to appease the upset girl.

"Miss Granger, clearly professor Snape spoke rashly because of his panic. You gave us both quite the start. Professor McGonagall asked us to come find you to tell you that breakfast was being served."

"I'm not hungry, I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"I insist you eat Miss Granger. Come now, what is that expression, breakfast is the most important meal of the day?"

"That's right Mr. Malfoy."

"Lucius please."

Severus bristled at his smarmy friend, he liked it even less when he offered the girl his arm and it was accepted. The two walked ahead of him talking pleasantly amongst themselves, Lucius pointed out several things on the walk back that kept Miss Granger's attention fully.

"Did I hear Draco tell me that you can successfully cast a patronus?"

"Yes but- something's happened to it."

This caught both men's attention. Severus caught up to them so he could listen more fully. She hadn't mentioned this in her diary or to him.

"Is it fading?"

"No Professor. It used to be an otter but now it won't take form and when it does it isn't an otter."

"What is it?"

Brown eyes met deep black.

"I don't know. It's not very clear."

They continued to look at each other as they walked; Hermione brought her lower lip between her teeth and gnawed at it whilst Severus puzzled over what it might be.

Lucius was never one to be left out of a conversation for too long and soon brought the attention back onto him.

"Well that's better than Draco. The last time he tried it looked like a stale flan, I don't know how he managed it I really don't."

Hermione laughed at that image. Poor Draco.

* * *

><p>After the final battle the Malfoy's had ran. They didn't want to be on Voldemort's side anymore but they also didn't feel comfortable on the side of the light. Aurors had been sent out to hunt them and the rest of the missing Death Eaters down. Hermione had been the one to find them, hiding in the forbidden forest, living off whatever they could scavenge, wounded and, in Narcissa's case, dying. Hermione had tended to them, healed them as best she could. They refused to leave their hiding spot so she brought food and potions to them, she warded the area off so that if anyone decided to follow her they would see Hermione sketching her surroundings and not in fact tending to the wounds of the dark lord's closest followers.<p>

"Why are you helping us? We wouldn't have helped you."

"Draco Malfoy, you have gone to school with me now for what, six years? Have I ever left someone just because they wouldn't help me? Nothing may come of this; you may decide to stab me in the back but I will never forgive myself if I don't try and help you."

"What, are you expecting that suddenly we'll think mudbloods aren't so bad?"

"Do you realise that you just winced when you said that word? I don't care what you think of me Malfoy, chances are you will never like me, but I have to try."

"Miss Granger?"

"Yes Mr. Malfoy?"

The once proud man hobbled over to where the girl was tending to the wound on his wife's stomach. He looked at her, kneeling in the mud, cleaning filth and grime from his wife who lay whimpering and groaning as the infection was brought out. Weeks later, if someone asked Lucius Malfoy the exact moment he stopped hating mudbloods it was that. Narcissa had told him that she hadn't wanted to be a Death Eater and she especially hadn't wanted Draco to be, that didn't mean she wasn't as prejudice as Lucius but he had been the driving force for so long. Now he looked at his wife who was on death's door and he hated himself, he hated what he had become. He hadn't wanted this.

"Thank you."

He had fallen to the floor then, kneeling in the filth in tattered robes that hung off his battered frame. His hair lay in tangled knots on his wife's legs as she reached a shaking hand onto his head.

"Luc, I think it's time." He nodded, crying bitterly as Draco stood awkwardly to one side. "Miss Granger please, tell the aurors where we are."

"Are you sure Mrs Malfoy?"

"Quite sure dear."

Harry and Hermione had both stood for the Malfoy's in the trail. They embellished slightly on what part Draco had in the final battle but no embellishment was needed for Narcissa. If it hadn't been for Narcissa, Harry would not have survived to defeat the Dark Lord. Lucius was responsible for Severus's healing, he saved his friends life regardless of the side he had been on. Lucius had always suspected that Severus's true allegiance was with the old man but it hadn't mattered because they had been friends.

Their testament paired with Hermione's memories of their time in the woods had got the Malfoy's off a life spent in Azkaban. Instead they were sent with other milder offenders to a rehabilitation course. They spent six months living without magic in the muggle world whilst also being taught in a class twice a week. Hermione had spent a lot of time with them then, teaching them. Narcissa found she enjoyed cooking and baking, she liked the similarities between that and potions. The finesse and precision of it was something Narcissa found she could really take pleasure in, Hermione gave her lots of beginners cook books to get her started with. Draco found he quite liked muggle sports so Hermione found him the local football and rugby teams for him to join. Lucius fell in love with the theatre, be it Shakespeare or musicals or opera. He loved the experience and Hermione found him all the local theatre's timetables. They became the figure heads of the rehabilitation programme.

They were a changed family and Lucius would feel forever grateful to that curly haired witch.

* * *

><p>"If he wasn't so proud I'd offer to teach him but I don't think that would go down to well." Lucius chuckled at the thought.<p>

"No, you're quite right. Cissy sends her regards and asked me to ask you if you would send her the recipe of that delicious chocolate-orange cake you made us that last time we visited."

"Oh... there isn't one. I made it up, I used to watch my Nana bake and that's how that came about but tell her I'd be glad to either make it again and write up a recipe or I'll send her the memory of when I baked it."

"You made that with no recipe, but it was delicious! How did you get the measurements right?"

Hermione laughed and thanked him. She loved baking and loved it even more when people appreciated it. She remembered sitting with her Nana for hours learning how to bake instinctively. Having a recipe was all well and good but the old classics she kept in her mind.

"My Nana taught me how. It's not that dissimilar to potion making. A true master can keep recipes of basic potions in his head. Isn't that right Professor Snape?"

"If you say so Miss granger."

By this point the strange trio had made it all the way to the great hall. The other professors barely gave them a second glance as they dug into their own meals. Hermione took her seat next to her head of house, the professor had been waving madly at her since she entered the room, Lucius and Professor Snape sat opposite them.

"Miss Granger it's wonderful to see you this morning. I highly recommend the pancakes, the elves don't make them often but when they do they are brilliant."

"I'd love some pancakes."

Hermione reached across and grabbed a couple of the pancakes and poured a small amount of golden syrup on them (after all she was still the daughter of dentists) and a blueberry muffin that was screaming her name.

"It's a good job you came Miss Granger. And to think, a mere five minutes ago you weren't hungry."

"What can I say Mr. Malfoy, your scintillating conversation worked up my appetite."

Lucius laughed at her playfulness, it was good to see the young witch smile. Severus had filled him in on what had happened to the girl over the years and it was hard to think of one so young suffering so badly.

"Mr. Malfoy, I forgot to ask, why are you here today? That is if you can tell me."

"You are looking at the new defence against the dark arts professor."

"Oh congratulations!"

"Thank you. "

Professor McGonagall helped herself to more black pudding as she watched the exchange between her favourite student and new friend. Hermione had dark bags under her eyes and her pallor screamed of tiredness. As much as she hated to admit it, it had been a good idea of Severus's to bring the girl in early. But it was good to see her smile, even if it was just for a little while.

The poor girl was going to have a hell of a year. Umbridge was on the war path, Albus had received a howler this morning from the vile, little woman. Minerva had been in his office with Severus when it arrived. The bitch had been screaming about them bringing her in early, that they knew that they couldn't interfere with things at Hogwarts and were protecting a murderer.

"Nothing you do can keep her safe. I will have her in one of my cells faster than you can say quiditch; you can't keep her in there forever. Soon the whole world will know that the 'Gryffindor princess' is nothing more than a filthy murderer."

Minerva had been so angry that Albus had had to restrain her from stopping her going to the ministry and Avada-ing that woman.

Hermione Granger had suffered enough and Minerva would be damned before she let anything else happen to her.

"Miss Granger, after breakfast I would like to have a word with you."

"Certainly Professor."

At that moment Professor Sprout leant across the table to get Hermione's attention.

"Hermione dear, once you've finished with Minerva would you mind popping down to the green houses so I can have a word with you. Nothing bad dear but a couple of my Hufflepuff's were getting bullied last year and I'd like it if you could keep an eye on them. Congratulations on getting head girl my dear, you have certainly earned it."

"Thank you professor. Of course I'll come down and see you once professor McGonagall is finished with me."

"Miss granger, nine thirty tonight."

"Yes professor Snape."

Breakfast was a relatively quiet affair after that. Mr. Malfoy- Professor Malfoy drew Professor Snape into a deep conversation and Professor McGonagall was debating the pros and cons of using arithmancy in transfiguration with Professor Vector. The argument was about whether or not Arithmancy could be used to determine a person's animagus form.

Hermione listened diligently till she realised that she had something to contribute, she didn't know whether that would be crossing a line. She bit her lip roughly, she should just stay quiet, it wasn't her conversation.

"Ladies, I believe Miss Granger has something to say, may I suggest asking her what it is before she tears her lip off."

Hermione shot a startled look at Snape before glancing back at the two professors who were now both facing her. Damn.

"Go on Granger, your input has always been valuable in class and if memory serves your good in both subjects. You can be our middle ground." Professor Vector winked at her whilst Professor McGonagall nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, it's just that I can see how theoretically the tools are there to predict someone's form but my worry would be that their magic would adapt to that and, instead of being a guide for, for example, the seventh year students it would make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Not to mention as with any calculation in arithmancy it has the ability to flux, anything from the subjects state of health to what they had at breakfast could mean that you get a different result every time."

Vector laughed loudly as Professor McGonagall looked stunned.

"Well done Granger! I've been waiting all morning for Minerva to figure that one out."

"You mean you knew your theory was flawed Septima?"

"It's not flawed Minerva, no more so than the theory of waving a wand at something enough times to see whether or not it has ever been transfigured and what to!"

"That is a proven thing Septima! We know it works!"

"It's sloppy and Arithmancy would do a much better job!"

"For the love of-"

"There is no such thing as a self fulfilling prophecy!"

All eyes span to the fuming divinations teacher attempting to tower over Hermione who looked on with an eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

"I disagree Professor. The self fulfilling prophecy is a muggle idea but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist and in fact exist in the wizarding world just as much."

"To have a self fulfilling prophecy implies that the prophecy is wrong." Hermione rolled her eyes, no it didn't, it implied people would try and fulfil it if it whether they realised that or not.

"I know what it implies professor. If somebody went to a fraudulent soothsayer and was told you are going to die in twenty four hours there is a chance that in their own panic and fear they make the lie come true. By putting stock into any form of prophecy you are giving it wings to come true, if nobody believes in it, it can't true."

"So let me get this straight you are saying that no prophecy, predicted by anyone, is real. What about mine, about the chosen one."

Everybody, with the exception of Hermione winced, that was a touchy subject. The war had been over less than a year before and Sybil was bringing it up. Nobody expected Hermione to respond but Hermione was never one to be tied down by expectations.

"The perfect example of a self fulfilling prophecy madam. You predicted that there was a chosen one so Voldemort chose one- He's dead people please don't justify him with a wince. He chose Harry, he could have quite as easily chosen Neville. I'm not saying there's no magic to it and maybe it would have come true on its own but there is no denying that if Voldemort had not heard that prophecy things would be different. Everything that happened since were all a result of him being told neither can live whilst the other survives... so thank you for that professor."

"I didn't tell him. That was professor Snape!"

There was a hushed gasp as silence fell across the hall. Severus went to leave but Lucius held his arm tightly down. Hermione had just received all the justification she needed to let loose and Lucius wanted to see where she took it.

"And that, madam, was incredibly bad form. Don't you dare drag professor Snape into this, this is our fight not his. If you had kept your mouth shut he wouldn't have had anything to tell but no, you were so desperate to get a job that you tampered with things with a catastrophic result. I am not saying that there is no one in existence with the power to create a true prophecy I am saying that you are not one of them! Have you ever heard the muggle idea that all the great ideas and the terrible ones have already been thought and they are just out there floating around waiting for someone to walk into them?"

Sybil stumbled backwards away from the furious witch; the magical aura radiating from her was palpable even to Sybil's blurry third eye. Clearly there was something going on here, on a level that Sybil hadn't realised. Once again, as she did on the night of her renowned prophecy she forced open her third eye and nearly passed out at what she saw.

Beyond the witch's obvious magical energy there was a brilliant, white cord attaching the girl's heart to Severus's own. A soul bond! Barely there, so very, very thin but strong. There was no way they knew. She had to tell Dumbledore, this could not go ignored, it could kill them!

But first, before she saved the little chit's life she had to put her in her place. Granger was making a laughing stock of her!

"I have, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm trying to say that you got lucky professor. You forced open your inner eye and that particular prophecy hit you. Other than that how many real predictions have you actually made? Two, three at a push? Your relative Cassandra wrote that you should never force open the inner eye, that by doing so you bastardise the prediction. And did you also know that it is easier to find and nurture people whose inner eye is naturally open by having your own firmly shut."

"What do you-"

"Did you know that Luna Lovegood is a seer? She needs nurturing professor, as much as it pains me to admit it. I hate your hokey subject just as much as you hate me but I know that its real. We will never see eye to eye but you are missing out on so much by focusing your time on trying to see. Quite ironic really that you are as blind as can be."

"Next you'll be telling me that muggles have the gift. Miss Lovegood is by no means a seer."

"First off it has been proven by the ministry that divination; prophecies etc are one thing that muggles are better at than wizards and witches, with a few exceptions. And if you weren't too busy hiding up in your belfry you'd see that Luna has the potential to be one of the greatest seer's of our time. Even I can see that and I couldn't give a rat's arse about my inner eye! The fact of the matter is that you descended in on a conversation that had nothing to do with divination all to do with a phrase and I may be biased but I think I've won this particular conversation. Don't you."

Hermione sat down with a righteous grin on her face as a shocked silence descended on the hall. Sybil looked around, desperate for someone to stick up for her but all she saw were heads facing plates and shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Even the headmaster had an amused grin on his face.

So she did the best thing she could. She turned tails and ran. No sooner had she shut the door did the hall burst into applause. Vector was nearly bent double with her laughter as professor McGonagall tried to hide her smile behind her hand. Hermione seemed to come to her senses.

"Oh God! I crossed a line didn't I professor McGonagall?"

This had Minerva out and out laughing.

"Yes Miss Granger, I would say you did." Hermione sighed... which only served to make the laughing people laugh harder. The look of resignation on the girls face was priceless.

"Should I apologise now or later."

Vector interrupted as she wiped tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Ah Miss Granger, it is not for you to decide. Since she knows so much Sybil will doubtlessly know when you will apologise to her."

Hermione couldn't help but giggle at that. She hadn't meant to get so het up about it but when the woman had tried to lay all the blame at Professor Snape's door it had made her so angry. She hadn't felt that angry for a long time, she couldn't describe it but since the dark professor clearly hadn't been going to defend himself Hermione felt that she had to. No one else would!

"One thing Granger, how do you know that she forces her inner eye open?"

Hermione looked at Professor Vector; she didn't know whether or not she should tell the older woman. She decided after a moment that she would.

"Cassandra, Professor Trelawney's relative, wrote that when ones inner eye opened naturally it didn't hurt that it was peaceful and people who observed her go into trances said it was almost like she dozed off on occasions. By all accounts when Professor Trelawney makes a prediction she sounds like she's being choked. It's also probably why she looks so haggard; it takes years off your life forcing it open."

Vector nodded, that did make sense. The witch couldn't be much older than Vector herself but she looked closer to Minerva's age.

Severus stared at Hermione without saying a word. She had defended him, she had chastised the loopy woman for dragging up one of the worst moments in his life and she had said it wasn't his fault. Severus didn't know what to say or how to feel. There was a tiny part of him that was angry at the chit's presumptuous interference but the majority of him felt... warm? Like her hug yesterday, it felt like a part of him that had been aching for years had been soothed.

He studied the witch with the horrid hair and who clung to books as if they were the key to everything. The witch who defended what she loved to the bitter end. She was brilliant, he would never admit it out loud but she was and- for one crazy, impossible moment- he longed to take her in his arms and hold her and to be held.

Instead he shook of Lucius's grip and stormed out of the room. He needed the safety of his dungeons.

"Professor Malfoy?"

"Lucius, please." Hermione rolled her eyes, it could hardly be appropriate to call him by his first name now but she obliged.

"Lucius, have I offended Professor Snape?"

The man studied her for a moment before smiling and shaking his head.

"No Miss Granger. I would venture that you did the precise opposite of offending him. I had better go check on the silly sod, if you'll excuse me ladies."

Hermione giggled and waved at him as he swept from the room. Professor McGonagall gestured for Hermione to follow her and Hermione did quite sombrely. She had obviously crossed a line and just hoped it didn't hurt her chances at becoming the transfigurations professor.

Minerva held her office door open for her and waited till Hermione was at her desk before she closed it and came into the room.

"Please sit down Hermione. Now then, I wanted to talk to you about, well, what are your plans for after Hogwarts?"

Hermione fought to keep the excitement off her face. "Nothing set professor, why?"

"As you know the tasks of a headmaster are many and strenuous and Albus isn't getting any younger. Neither am I for that matter. It has been decided that at the end of this year I will take on some of the duties that the headmaster has to face as the deputy head. However this leaves us at a problem. Given my raise in duties there is no way I could continue to teach all my classes and there is no way I could continue as head of house. People may complain of bias more than they already do."

Hermione snorted at the thought of Professor McGonagall being accused of bias when Professor Snape, cover or not, was one of the most biased professors at Hogwarts. It was a ridiculous thought.

Minerva appreciated Hermione's humour and smiled warmly at her favourite cub.

"Yes, well. Clearly a replacement would be needed and it has been decided, that is I was hoping that that replacement would be you." Hermione couldn't hold in her excited squeal as she shot up to hug her teacher. This was the best news she had ever had, even better than being made head girl.

"I take it you accept child." Minerva's voice was filled with the laughter that she refused to release. This young witch's enthusiasm was endearing to say the least. Minerva only hoped that they could get the problems sorted at the ministry as quickly as possible so that Hermione would never learn the truth. She didn't need that darkening her door, the poor child.

Minerva sent her off to see professor sprout with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. The elderly woman went back to her desk and pulled out the letter Kingsley had sent her this morning. Things weren't going well at all, Umbridge had found out that they had deliberately called Hermione in early when she had gone to the girl's house with a group of aurors. They had realised that much from the howler sent this morning but Kingsley did have some new news for them. The vile woman was now causing a massive fuss and rallying as many people as she could against Hermione, the ambitious little wretch was trying to over throw the 'no meddling' policy.

God help them all if she succeeded.

* * *

><p>Lucius knocked on the locked door, he pulled his robes around him a little tighter, it was a lot colder in the dungeons than he would have expected. Severus took his sweet time opening the door, Lucius knew if the door was locked then he was brewing. It served the pompous arse right if he caught a cold, the wards told him Lucius was still stood out there and experience told him he wasn't going to leave.<p>

"Come on in then, if you're coming."

"About sodding time. Do you charm those corridors cold?"

Severus couldn't keep the smirk off his lips.

"Oh my lord, you do don't you, you slimy bastard!" Severus barked out a laugh.

"Don't be so stupid Lucius. That would be a terrible waste of a charm and my time. It's just cold down here; it's not my fault you prance around in barley any clothes."

"For one thing I don't prance and for another I'm wearing full robes. You're only wearing a frock coat and pants!"

"Yes and what sort of clothes do I wear? Wool you fool! What do you want Lucius? I take it this isn't a chit chat session." Lucius sniffed at his friend's assumptions... even if they were right.

"Miss Granger was certainly... entertaining today."

"Indeed."

"Yes, and she defended you like the lioness she is, that was very interesting." Severus stiffened, where the hell was Lucius going with this? It was more than likely no place good. He went back to his cauldron and stirred it three and a half times counter clockwise. He added the powdered horn to the potion before answering with a sigh.

"If you say so Lucius."

"You don't fool me Severus, you can act as nonchalant as you want, I know you were pleased. I've known you long enough; I'm surprised you didn't blush."

"Fuck off."

Lucius laughed at his friend's bad natured response. "You're just pissed 'cause I've got you pegged. You liked her sticking up for you. You were flattered."

"And what if I was?"

Lucius shrugged which only served to annoy Severus more. What was the point in saying it if he didn't have a point? Maybe he just wanted to piss him off.

"Severus and Hermione sitting in a tree K.I.S.S.I.N-"

"OUT!" Lucius left howling with laughter; Severus hexed him as he left, if Lucius thought he'd been cold before he'd be dying now.

"Of all the immature... He is such an idiot." But even saying that his traitorous mind brought up the image of Miss Granger defending him but more specifically, her luscious, pink lips. He thought of his dream, where those lips were pressed on his heated skin. He couldn't help the delicious shudder that went down his spine. Why was this happening?

* * *

><p>The meeting with Professor Sprout had been a brief affair. She had given Hermione a short list of names of children who were being bullied and who by and a list of things to look out for. Sprout had told Hermione that she had written a brief note to her students to tell them that Hermione would be looking out for them. Hermione assured her she would and the woman sent her off with a box of freshly picked strawberries for being a wonderful example and as congratulations. Hermione had thanked her before heading off to the lake.<p>

She and the squid had some unfinished business.

And that's where Lucius found her, yelling at the squid who, if Lucius didn't know any better, looked shame faced as the witch gestured to the repaired boulder.

"Is that what I threw you to fetch? Is it? You could have killed me you know, throwing a boulder at someone is not a good way to get their attention! How did I teach you to get my attention?"

Lucius watched in a mixture of bafflement and humour as the squid tapped her gently on the shoulder with a protruding tentacle, the rest were hidden beneath the lakes depths.

"That's right! We won't be playing again today because clearly I can't trust you to play nicely!" The squid let out a mournful groan before sinking back into the water.

"You appear to have tamed the beast Miss granger, that's quite a skill."

Hermione spun to face the man.

"Oh, I didn't see you there. Would you like a strawberry?"

"What?" Lucius laughed at the girl's expression as she held up the box. He invited her to join him on a brief walk as they ate said strawberries. Hermione was happily walking in silence while Lucius studied her out of the corner of his eye. She was quite something, this little witch, it had been wonderful watching her come to the aid of his friend this morning and Lucius had to wonder how long the little lion cub had been in love with the dark man... so he asked her, (It was only fair after the stick he had given Severus).

"What do you mean? I'm not- that is I- I would never- Oh bollocks, am I that obvious?"

Lucius slid an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to a one armed embrace. How he would love to call this little one his daughter, times had certainly changed.

"Yes my dear, I'm afraid you are. But never fear, Severus has no idea what you feel for him."

"Of course he wouldn't, he's in love with her."

"Her?"

"Harry's mum. When professor Snape thought he was dying he gave Harry some of his memories to help Harry and, I think, to clear his name. Harry never let us see the memories but he did tell me what was in them. How everything professor Snape did was for Lily Potter. Professor Snape loves lily, hell everyone loves lily."

"But not you." Hermione looked at him for a moment before sitting down on the grass, after a moment's hesitation, so did he.

"I'm sick of being compared to her. All my teachers at some point or another have compared me to her and- I guess that's what first drew me to him; he never did, not once. He isn't handsome, not in the classic sense but I found him so attractive when I was younger, even more that Gilderoy Lockhart. I thought I would get over it, just a silly crush but it got worse as time went on and I think I fell in love with him. He's so- so intelligent Lucius, at my sessions, when he does talk, he is thrilling. I could talk to him for hours but... that was before I found out."

Lucius listened intently with a smile on his face, the young girl was quite in love with his dark friend and Lucius knew that even if Severus denied it he felt something for the girl. However he didn't like the turn the girls speech was taking.

"Found out what?"

"The reason he doesn't compare me to her is because he is in love with her. I don't live up to her in his eyes and I never will. It's stupid. I will never be lily and I will never beat her, either of them. There are always better than me in everything I do, I can't talk to my friends about it because I didn't tell them I had a sister and how do you tell your best friend you hate his dead mum simply because she was clever and pretty and made an impression on everyone? I hate feeling like this Lucius, its worse now I know that he loves her because at least with school work I can try and compete and maybe- just maybe if I push myself hard enough I can beat her grades so much that people will stop saying to me 'miss granger, you remind me so much of Lily Evans, she was a muggleborn too, she used to work just as hard as you do or get the same grades as you do or whatever else it is they have to say. I'm sorry I'm rambling."

"No, no it's fine Hermione. You need to get this out. It's not fair that you should be burdened like this. If it helps at all I remember Miss Evans and I don't think she could hold a candle to you."

Hermione snorted at him, "Don't be ridiculous, you've seen her, she was beautiful and skinny and her hair wasn't a rats nest and she got good grades without even trying."

"You get good grades without even trying. Gingers were never my thing so her hair can't be that nice, she had an upturned nose and a slightly lazy eye... although it was very slight, most people didn't notice it but Severus confirmed it to me a few years back. She was too skinny if you ask me and you may not be classically beautiful but that doesn't mean you aren't! I hate to disrespect the dead but your attitude is far superior to hers."

Hermione looked at him puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

Lucius sighed and looked out across the lake to the distant shape of Hogwarts. He felt for his friend whose razor sharp tongue had caused his own pain but the woman was not totally blameless.

"She turned her back on him when he needed her. He said something terrible to her but she would not forgive him, it was that that drove him into the arms of the dark lord. If she would have forgiven him or given him a chance or a shred of hope I know he wouldn't have joined our ranks. I also feel safe in my assumption that had it been you in that situation you would have been hurt but you wouldn't have walked away."

"No, I wouldn't. At least I hope I wouldn't but I can understand why she did."

"Can you?"

Hermione nodded. "By being friends with someone in Slytherin she was safe from the extremists, they left her alone. He may not have realised it but he protected her. The second he called her a mudblood and in front of so many people the gloves were off. She wasn't safe anymore, not to mention how hurt she would have felt. Harry said that in the memories he saw that there was a rift growing between them that was as much his mum's fault as it was professor Snape's. He reckons she knew that and felt guilty about it but there was no back pedalling. The other Slytherin's wouldn't have accepted that, so she found protection where she could and that was with Harry's dad."

"You are wise beyond your years Miss Granger. You see what others missed, those were dangerous times and you are right we wouldn't have accepted a change of heart. You continue to astound me with your perception Miss granger. Lets walk back to the castle now, it will be lunch by the time we get there, I hadn't realised we had walked so far."

He held out a hand for Hermione to use to help herself up, which she took gratefully. Lucius had much to think about. He had to talk to Severus about his feelings for the girl. Lucius wanted both his friends to be happy and if that meant a little meddling then so be it. And he knew the perfect meddler to get to help him.

* * *

><p>Albus Dumbledore stood in his office making a cup of tea for the shaking Divinations professor whilst he told him exactly what she saw. If this was true then it was a very serious matter, if they didn't address this immediately there could be serious consequences.<p>

"A soul bond. You're sure?"

The woman snivelled a little under the headmaster's piercing gaze. She was still smarting from this morning but that was no reason to let the girl die. Sybil nodded stiffly.

"Quite sure headmaster. I can provide a pensive if you deem it necessary. It's there but it's small and fraying at her end. Something the girl is doing or thinking is causing the connection to snap. She doubts him whether or not she knows she does."

Albus looked at Fawkes, who was pulling his feathers out at his breast; he knew little of those kinds of bonds. Only that they formed over time and that it took a level of closeness to create them at all.

"Would- to have formed the bond that is- would there have been any inappropriate behaviour?"

Sybil blinked rapidly trying to work out what he meant. Inappropriate b- oh!

"No! No, if Severus and Miss Granger had had relations of any kind then the bond would be a lot stronger than this. For that bond to be made their souls must be a pair and it's built over time. I would say for the bond to be created it would only be a brief touch. Insignificant even, brushing past each other in the corridor for example."

"Or holding her face to perform legilimency."

"Yes, although when that would have happened I have no-"

"Thank you Sybil, you've given me plenty to think about. I'll see you in the great hall; I do believe its dinner time and the elves have promised to make treacle tart and custard."

"Oh that sounds nice professor. I will see you there then."

Sybil left with her scarves trailing behind her. Albus pretended not to notice when one got caught in the door and she had to sneak it out. He wasn't lying when he said he had a lot to think about. If their bond broke it could kill them, if they acted on it, it could ruin them. Somehow Albus needed to strengthen their bond but the question was how? He wondered idly whether or not he should make them aware of it. He probably should but what if it made it worse?

Hermione's end was fraying; the girl needed the most attention. What to do, what to do?

Albus sighed as he ran a hand over his beard, this was a problem that may take some time to work out, time they did not have. And what's worse was he had just found at least two sherbet lemons in his hair... he had a date with a pair of scissors and a comb.

* * *

><p>Severus was still down in his lab brewing for Poppy, it shouldn't take long, he could probably get it done today and if not then he knew Miss Granger would help him tonight. She was a competent brewer.<p>

She had been ablaze this morning. He had been listening to Minerva and Vector's conversation and had seen how desperate Hermione had been to join in. He had waited and waited for her to speak up but she just couldn't bring herself to so he had intervened. Severus didn't know why he had, he didn't normally interfere and Sybil's outburst reminded him why. He felt the eyes on him; he knew that even though his name had been cleared people still hated him. To have Sybil yell that in the hall had beyond humiliated him. It hashed up old wounds that Severus would prefer to forget.

To have that little witch defend him like that was... well, it was incredible. No-one had ever fought for him like she had; she stood up for him and wouldn't let him be dragged through the mud. A part of him had bristled that she hadn't let him fight his own battles but it was nice not to have to for once.

He admired her passion and her drive, her intelligence was second only to her compassion but he did not want to be just another project for her. He sighed as he siphoned the potion out, he shouldn't be thinking of her like this, she was his student for Christ sake! But still he couldn't stop that niggling, little voice in the back of his head whispering that there were no rules against that and she was of age.

He looked towards his desk; his photo of Lily was safe in the top drawer. He felt sickened by his confusion towards the girl when he felt his heart should only belong to one woman. For years it did and now... Enough, he was in a position of responsibility and trust over the girl. No more thoughts of what could have been or what could be. Tonight he would talk to the girl about this morning but first he needed some food, all this brewing and brooding was making him hungry.

* * *

><p>When Severus arrived in the hall the only seat left was next to Hermione. She was lost in conversation with Lucius, who nodded at him over her shoulder, she turned to face him with a smile so dazzling that it almost took his breath away and had his heart pounding in his chest. So much for not thinking of her like that.<p>

Clearly his disgust with himself had manifested on his face because Hermione looked shocked and quickly looked down.

'_Why is he sneering at me? Have I done something wrong?' _Lucius shot him a look before bringing the girl back into conversation.

"So Miss Granger how are you doing this course then?"

"My mum prints off the documents I need and sends me them and the essay question. I do them and send them back. They get marked and I either adjust them or they send me the next lot. Eventually I will have to go back and sit an exam and hopefully get a qualification out of it."

"It seems like a lot of work to do on top of what you have here."

Severus decided to speak up. "What's this?"

Hermione didn't look at him as she answered; she kept her gaze focused on her fingers which rested in her lap.

"My mother is worried that if things don't go well for me here that I won't have any qualifications back in the muggle world so she has found a course for me to do."

"Have you told your mother about your offer?"

"Yes, I sent her a brief note last night and she got the course information this morning. She wants me to keep my options open."

Keep her options open or didn't believe she could succeed? Perhaps he needed to have a word with the woman. She was pulling her daughter down whether or not she realised it.

"That _is_ a lot of work Miss Granger but I'm sure if anyone can handle it you can."

Hermione glowed under the almost compliment. She finished her chicken with little else to say, the wizards were talking over her head and she started scribbling in her diary. She had had an idea for a spell and unfortunately the diary she usually used for that was upstairs still.

Satisfied that it would not only work but that it wouldn't need any wand movement working out she poured a small amount of water into her plate. She continued, unaware that her odd behaviour had attracted attention from the diners on either side of her. Lucius mouthed over her head '_what is she doing?' _Severus replied with a shrug.

Hermione pulled her wand out from her sleeve and pointed it at the water. "_Conglacio." _She whispered and watched almost giddily as the water froze instantly. Clear and the edge and cloudy in the middle where the water had had tiny air bubbles. She held her hand over it and could feel the cold radiating off it; this was far stronger and quicker than the spell they were taught in charms. Hermione began to wonder whether it would work on more than water. The translation was freeze up so maybe-

"Miss Granger, might I suggest you keep those displays to yourself."

Hermione jumped in her seat at the sound of Severus's voice.

"I'm sorry sir."

He nodded at her stiffly before helping himself to a generous piece of tart and custard; he had a terrible sweet tooth, Lucius watched the girl look wistfully at the tart before she went to get an apple.

"Will you be having some tart, Miss Granger?"

"Well I'd like some but-."

"Allow me."

Hermione sat back as he cut her portion, she was glad he had offered because she hated trying to get anything from those high lip dishes, it always broke and crumbled and made a mess when she tried. She tapped the ice twice and it disappeared just as Lucius placed down her desert.

"Miss Granger, do you understand why I told you not to use your owns spells?" She looked back at Severus as he cut into his desert with relish.

"I think so sir, it could have gone wrong."

"No, there are people who will take your spells and use them against you. That spell has the ability to do more than just freeze some water. Do you often make your own spells?"

"How do you know it was one of mine sir? Maybe I just remembered one I learnt from a book somewhere."

Severus raised his eyebrow at her and she squirmed slightly under his gaze.

"I make my own whenever I think of them."

"Do you write them down?"

"Yes, I have my own book in my room filled with ones I've thought of."

"Bring it to our session tonight."

Hermione finished and left in silence. She didn't want to show him her book, she was so stupid for doing that in the hall, she wouldn't have if she hadn't thought they had been too busy to notice her. She made her way back up to her rooms with a smile on her face; even with that set back today was still a good day.

* * *

><p><span>Back in the hall.<span>

"What's the matter Severus?"

Severus sighed, "She has never mentioned it. Not once and that girl has told me everything, hell at one point I knew her cycle as well as she did, that is how much she tells me. It worries me that she hasn't mentioned it because that means she has something to hide."

Lucius nodded, that made sense if you were thinking about a Slytherin, however Miss Granger was not a Slytherin. He said as much and to his shock Severus laughed at him.

"Lucius, Miss Granger is as Slytherin as you and me when she wants to be. Now if you'll excuse me I have some brewing to see to."

"Severus, why are you upset about this?"

"I'm not upset."

"No but it's got you rattled. It really bothers you that she didn't share every bit of her with you whether you admit it or not. You know that horrible feeling, the feeling of being kept in the dark?"

Severus nodded.

"Well now you know how she feels. She bares her soul to you and you give her nothing in return. Let her have her secrets Severus."

Severus turned to look at his friend who was studiously avoiding his gaze. What exactly did Lucius know that Severus didn't? It did bother him that she had hidden it from him, that she hadn't been open with him and now he was determined to find them out. He didn't want to say he wanted to know everything about her but after all these years of talking to the girl he found he did.

"I think not Lucius. Now if you will excuse me."

Tonight he was going to have a little chat with Miss Granger about her secrets and he would get answers, one way or the other.

* * *

><p>And that's your lot =) ... very long chapter, I just didn't know how to stop it. I think it's quite a bitty chapter as well but necessary to establish some plot points and characters etc. I hope you've liked it please let me know what you think.<p>

Some figures for you over the past four days I have had 728 people look at my story and I have had 2 reviews. I'm not trying to whine or anything but if you don't review I don't know whether you like it or not. If you have constructive criticism then tell me, if you like it tell me.

Thank you if you have reviewed and thank you for adding me to your lists but please, please review.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter. If i could have at least ten reviews before i put up the next chapter i'd be really grateful =) The next chapter may take a little while to come because it's not been written yet and i missed a week of school because i was ill so i dont know how much work i'm going to have to catch up on. I hope you liked this anyway, please review... i know i sound desperate but that's because i am!

Wp2 xx


	5. developements all round

Hey guys**, thank you sooooo much for the reviews**, I really appreciate it =)...

it has come to my attention that in the last chapter I said Lily's death was 4 years ago and Hermione is now in her 7th year... oops, simply put I was writing that bit at four in the morning, I was tired I was careless and because nothing was spelt wrong in that area I missed it completely.. Sorry about that. Lilly died in Hermione's first year and it has been 6-7 ish years since she died, not 4 years... which is what I stupidly put.

Also, I'm sorry if there has been any confusion, **there are two different Lily's in my story. **There is **Lily Potter,** Harry's mum and then **Lily Granger**, Hermione's sister. I thought I'd made it clear but there has been some confusion. I hope that clears it up, sorry if you had understood and I'm telling you what you know but I hope I've cleared it up if you were confused.

And also I hope it doesn't seem like I'm holding chapters back till I get a set amount of reviews because I'm honestly not, I hate it when authors do that it's annoying to say the least and I'm not doing that. I write as it comes to me, a couple of people have said 'don't hold your chapters to ransom' ... ok, I will never do that, when I ask for a set number of reviews it's not a 'give me that or no chapter' ... it's a begging session hahaha so again I'm sorry if it seemed that way =) I had put a note on actually saying the words 'I am not holding it to ransom it's just not been written yet' but for some reason, I've just checked and, it's not there.. Puzzling, if anyone can tell me why stuff disappears I would be grateful =)

I'm not as happy with this chapter as i could be but unfortuantely it's the best i can do at this time, Chapter 6 is well under way but it could be a while before it's up, i have a lot of work to cathch up on, please review and let me know what you think.

* * *

><p>Hermione sat in her room reading. For the first time since her first session she was dreading going to see Professor Snape. She didn't want to show him her book; some of those spells were created in desperation others were made when she was in a dark place. How could she explain that the spells weren't a reflection of herself, just her mood. Most of them she had never used and most of them she never would!<p>

_Caecus amor_- blind love, created to stop her cousin having a miscarriage but could double as a sex spell. That had opened doors in her mind she hadn't realised she had, it made her wonder about creating actual sex spells which could double for something else. She didn't particularly want to use them, just create them.

_Vulnus occultum_- hidden wound, she had created that spell after she had been cursed in the ministry. She hated how defenceless she had been so she made that spell, a spell that made the victim bleed out from the inside. That had lead to more spells that she didn't intend to use, spells that were so dark she was frightened to use them. She had practiced them on realistic dummies in the room of requirement to see what it would do on a person and it had terrified her.

What if Professor Snape thought she would use them? She didn't want him to think badly of her but she also didn't know why he cared so much. She had made a mistake, she should not have done that at the table but that didn't mean he had the right to see her book... She placed the book she had been reading on the arm of the chair as she looked at _her_ book on the shelf across the room. Should she rip those pages out? No, he'd know. She could _forget _it... he'd probably just tell her to go get it. She thought about quickly writing up some of the tamer spells and giving him that but the proud part of her couldn't bring herself to do that, a small part of her wanted to show him what she was capable of if she had to show him anything. She needed time to think, in a quiet place, to plan what she would do. Away from the castle, away from the people but most importantly away from professor Snape.

She sighed and scribbled a quick note to the headmaster.

_Sir, _

_Would it be possible for me to apperate to my sister's grave please? I'm sorry for bothering you._

_Hermione._

She sent it in the floo and stood by the fire to wait for what she assumed to be a negative response. Barely a minute later she received his reply.

_Miss Granger, _

_That is not a problem; you will be permitted to see your sister's grave whenever you wish, within reason, this year. You will need a staff member to accompany you though; I have taken the liberty of asking Professor Snape to escort you today. I also thought it would be appropriate for you to do a little shopping whilst you were in the muggle world, I am very aware that I am cutting into your holiday time, I have enclosed a small sum of spending money for you to use. Please consider it a gift. After you return I would like to have a word with you, the password is lemon meringue pie._

_Sincerely _

_Albus Dumbledore,_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts..._

Hermione groaned, she had wanted to avoid professor Snape till their meeting tonight. Now she was going to have to spend more time with him. It was unnecessary for the professor to give her any money, she had her own. A purple velvet coin purse lay on the floor, she ignored it for a moment whilst she went to get her own purse and look in it. Thirty five pounds stared back at her; she could have sworn she had had more. Maybe she grabbed the wrong purse; she wandered back into her study. She grabbed the coin purse which had fallen to the floor and looked in it, there was at least one hundred pounds in there, if not more. That was far too much! Maybe the professor had made a mistake, that theory was shattered when she found a small note at the bottom of the bag.

_No, I haven't made a mistake. Treat yourself my dear, you've earned it._

* * *

><p><span>In the headmaster's office<span>

* * *

><p>"Albus, if Umbridge catches her out of Hogwarts she can-"<p>

"Which is precisely why you are going with her Severus. Keep her safe and make sure that she enjoys her freedom; Kingsley has said Hermione can leave the grounds so long as she is accompanied by a teacher."

"When did this come about? Last I heard Granger couldn't leave the grounds again till this was sorted."

Severus was annoyed at being kept in the dark, it was bad enough the girl was doing it but this was getting too much now. He was going to demand to be kept in the loop from now on!... Who was he kidding, Albus would tell him what he wanted when he wanted to and there was nothing Severus could do about it.

"Severus please don't sulk."

"I'm not s-"

"Severus." Albus warned him, Severus bit his tongue. "I received a letter from Kingsley just before lunch; he's rallied for Hermione to be given a small amount of freedom. Umbridge has been waylaid by a heap of paperwork it seems. " Albus's eyes were twinkling like mad.

"Albus, why do I get the feeling you have something to do with that?"

"I don't know my boy. It seems _somebody_ informed the legal department that a lynching mob was being formed for Miss Granger when there hasn't even been a motion to overturn the original ruling. Then of course once she has filled in the paperwork to make a motion to overturn the ruling she must make a report to a small committee of people who in turn must make reports and send it to other people who have to look at it. Then once that has happened the original ruling must be studied, the reasons why it was made must be looked at. Then a board of officials must look at those reports and then they will hold a meeting with the person who wants to over throw the ruling and the person who made the ruling must be brought in to ask why they made that ruling."

Severus burst into peals of laughter. For once he was glad of the ridiculous pomp and ceremony at the ministry, the first steps alone would take months and months to complete not to mention the man responsible for the ruling was Cornelius Fudge, no-one had seen that old man in years. He had gone into hiding after being dismissed from the ministry.

"Somehow I don't think Cornelius is going to come out of hiding for this, that's assuming they can even find him Severus. They can't force him to emerge. Whoever sent that anonymous letter to the legal department has possibly bought Miss Granger years and given that it could be years before there is any action the legal department didn't see any sense in locking the girl away, she can go wherever she wants so long as she is accompanied by one of us. That is what Kingsley has told me."

"Albus, your brilliance surprises me. How did you know to write to them, I never would have even thought about that!"

Albus waved his hand with a smile.

"Ah, you put too little and too much faith in me my boy. I'm afraid I did not think to write to them. Kingsley confronted the legal department about the freedom but he didn't write to them either. I did however notice a beautiful raven flying with the owls this morning. I had thought you had done it but it appears not. It is obvious that whoever did get Miss Granger's reprise must know about the inner workings of the ministry."

Severus's mind churned as he realised who had done it. He would have to show his appreciation later.

"Severus, Miss Granger will be waiting for you. Make sure she has a pleasant time shopping Severus, I understand it is an important and enjoyable part of a young woman's life to shop with her friends and people she holds dear."

"Of which I am neither."

Albus just looked at him, Severus felt uncomfortable under the intense gaze of his mentor and friend.

"I will go now Albus, I'll see you when we get back."

Severus swept from the room leaving Albus to finish his tea before penning a quick note and sending it to his newest professor. After all it wouldn't do for the hero of the hour to go un-thanked.

* * *

><p><span>Elsewhere in the castle.<span>

* * *

><p>The tell tale 'whoosh' of the floo alerted him from the other room; he poked his head through the door to see a note resting on his rug.<p>

He picked it up gingerly and glanced at its contents, a wide smile spread on his face.

_Lucius _

_Thank you for Miss Granger's sake. You have bought her the invaluable gift of time and for that I am eternally grateful to you. _

_Albus._

He quickly scribbled a note back denying all knowledge of anything to do with Hermione before going back into his study.

"It seems we were successful scarlet."

The raven cawed and preened herself proudly. She had flown extra fast for her master that morning, he had told her it was urgent so she had made a journey that would take a normal bird several hours in half the time. This was for a friend of her master so it was worth the aching wings.

"The rest is up to you Albus."

Lucius took a sip of his wine before finishing his letter to his wife.

* * *

><p><span>The entrance hall<span>

* * *

><p>Hermione stood and waited for her professor in the drafty hall. She pulled her trench coat around her tighter and thanked God that she'd thought to grab it and a hoody. For summer it was unbelievably cold, how could such a nice day become so cold so quickly?<p>

She pulled her wand out from her sleeve and cast a quick warming charm on herself. She bent down and picked up a pebble and transfigured it into a simple bouquet of yellow roses. They had been her sisters favourite and the meanings were not lost on Hermione now. Yellow roses- friendship, jealousy, an apology. Her sister had been one of her best friends and she had been so jealous, so bitter and it was worse now she was gone. She hated visiting Lily's grave with her parents, they were always so melancholy. When Hermione went alone she laughed. She laughed because she remembered the good times, remembered how Lily would insist on brushing Hermione's hair 'because it was so soft' or the time that Lily managed to not only burn some custard she was making but actually set it on fire.

Lily was not the saint her mother made her out to be, she was human and she was one of the funniest people Hermione knew. The granite headstones and marble figures were wrong for Lily, they were too cold, but that's where her mother wanted her daughter and it was a beautiful graveyard.

Hermione smelled the roses that she held to her chest. She was completely lost in thought and memories when Severus found her. She looked beautiful with the light from the windows lighting her hair from above, she looked so mature. He caught himself smiling at her when she sniffed the beautiful roses but he quickly wiped the smile off his face. He decided to make himself known.

"Miss Granger."

Hermione jumped and span to see her professor standing at the bottom of the stairs. She sent him a small smile before setting off out the doors. He briskly caught up to her and they walked quietly to the apperation point.

"Do you know where we can apperate to safely?"

Hermione thought for a moment, there was a spot behind the church that no-one went to, they could go there. She stood for a moment before he growled under his breath and yanked her too him,

"It will have to be side along Miss Granger; I don't know where we're going."

Hermione blushed at her lack of thought and at his closeness. She could smell his fresh, clean scent. Like citrus and spices, it was intoxicating. She shook her head to clear her mind; it wouldn't do to apperate without focus. She placed her hands on his elbows and took a deep breath, apperateing always made her a little dizzy and a little voice told her he wouldn't appreciate it if she vomited on him.

Severus felt the tell tale tug around his stomach signalling that she had set off and shut his eyes, he didn't ever keep them open during side along when he was not the one leading it.

* * *

><p>The gap between two tombs was a lot closer together than Hermione remembered and it meant she was jammed quite solidly against his hard, warm chest. Her right leg had somehow wound up hooked behind his left at quite an awkward angle, one arm trapped behind his shoulder blades. His own had remained quite firmly at his side but the unusual position they found themselves locked in meant that he was having to stoop quite low to remain comfortable. Hermione's pulse raced as she gazed up into his deep black eyes, her warmth seeped through his robes quite deliciously and Severus found himself fighting his body's reaction to such a pretty, young witch wrapped so intimately around him. '<em>Not appropriate old man, she's your student. <em>_**She's of age, **__that's not the point!'_

"Sorry sir."

His eyes flickered down to her, he could just make out her face enveloped in the shadows of the tombs, she had captured her bottom lip as she looked from side to side to look for an escape route. He bit back a groan at the becoming blush that he could only just see in the gloom; even if he couldn't see the flush he could feel the heat of it through his clothes.

She shimmed to try and wriggle free, unawares to the problem she was creating for him. She let out a groan when she shifted causing her head to be pushed back into the wall with an all mighty thump. She gripped his shoulders to try and support herself to move to one side, she was aware of the fact she was grinding against him and was immensely glad of the shadow that hid her rosy cheeks.

She was aware of the tight ache in her chest as she struggled to breathe. He slammed his hands on her waist to stop her moving, she gazed up at him in shock, still he said nothing.

"Oi! You two, how dare you! That is someone's grave not a place for you to get-"

"Mrs Lawrence, is that you?"

The old woman adjusted her thick glasses as she peered into the darkness of gap.

"Hermione? Is that you pet?"

"Yes Mrs L, I promise it's not what it looks like. I was coming to see Lily's grave and my professor was escorting me. I thought I knew a short cut but apparently I'm not as thin as I used to be."

"Oh hush child. You're a lovely, curvy young woman. I don't see what the obsession with being thin is these days, my Albert always liked a girl with some meat on her bones and you're the same. Now then poppet, take a deep breath in. Now let it all go."

Hermione rolled her eyes but followed the woman's advice; it created a tiny bit of space between the two of them.

"Now just take a step to your left. No, sorry, my left. That's it, that's it. There you go."

Sure enough they were free. Hermione ran a hand down her clothes to smooth them out. Mrs Lawrence held her bouquet for her whilst giving Severus the shifty eye. He wasn't exactly the best looking man in the world, he definitely needed to smile but she decided that he looked savoury enough to escort Hermione on her own. It was clear that he carried a torch for the girl; he could barely keep his eyes off her. She smiled at that, she had known Hermione since she was a little girl, it was good to see her with someone who cared for her.

Shame about his funny clothes really.

Mrs. Lawrence took her leave soon after that and left the odd pair to manoeuvre their way through the grave yard. Severus lagged behind her slightly. That whole situation had... disturbed him. He took steadying breaths to try and calm his... issue. It had been far too long since he had been with a witch, that was why he was affected, not because he was having inappropriate thoughts about his student. Perhaps a visit to Knockturn alley wouldn't go amiss, even if the thought of the heavily made up tarts did fill him with disgust.

Hermione ploughed on ahead, unaware of her professor's troubles. At this point she only cared about the pain in her chest as she took each breath or how her head seemed to be getting lighter and lighter with every step she took. She was used to it, it always happened when she went to the grave. She couldn't laugh today, today was a day for thoughts and apologies.

* * *

><p>Lily's grave was unremarkable. Her parents had chosen to use dull stone over marble, on one side there was Edna Martin who had died ten years prior at the grand old age of ninety eight and on the other there was Marie Jenkins who had died at six weeks old. When she was younger, Hermione used to imagine lily sitting with her back against her headstone, holding the little baby and talking to the woman who had lived through wars and life. It comforted Hermione to think that Lily wasn't alone. She pulled the old flowers out of the pot and placed most of the roses in, she left four out. Two for Marie, two for Edna. It didn't matter when she came, those graves never had flowers and it made Hermione so sad to think that one had lived all her life and had met everyone she was going to, had had a family of her own and no-one came to leave her some flowers and the other... She could understand it being difficult coming to see your baby.<p>

She hadn't realised she was crying, that she had been kneeling in the dirt and the grime sobbing. For so long she had carried on without having to stop and think about that night. She had worried about Harry, the war, everything. Now there was nothing to occupy her nights but thoughts of what if, what if she had been more careful? What if she had been calmer? Horrible nightmares haunted her sleep, an angry Lily standing over her as Hermione was pinned to the ground by a tree, yelling at her for cutting short her life. It wasn't that Hermione hadn't felt guilty before but she had had distractions, things to take away from the pain. Now she had nothing.

"I'm sorry, L-Lily, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to- God, I didn't. I miss you, I wish- I- I."

She had almost completely forgotten she wasn't alone until she felt an awkward hand on her head. Severus had felt decidedly uncomfortable when the girl had knelt down, he had stood back to allow her, her privacy, then she had started crying. He hated it when women cried, it reminded him too much of bitter nights at Spinners End, listening to his mother trying to muffle her own, pitiful, sobs as his father paraded around the house in a violent, drunken stupor.

Severus patted her head gently twice, longing to be anywhere but here but wishing that the girl would stop crying.

"There there. Calm yourself Miss. Granger. The dead don't need our tears, it doesn't bring them comfort."

Severus found himself examining a curl that had managed to wrap its way around his finger, as if it had a mind of its own. It was surprisingly soft, considering that the girl had truly horrid hair; it caught the light quite nicely, gleaming with an array of tones from toffee to deep, rich brown Severus let it drop, finding his thoughts had taken too... poetic a turn to be appropriate, but still he let his hand rest on the woman's head, letting her take what comfort in it that she could.

Hermione leant her head back into his palm the tiniest bit, enjoying the surprising warmth before pulling away slightly.

"You're right sir, they don't need them... but that doesn't mean they don't deserve them."

They stayed like that for a long moment; Severus still slightly stooped from where he had tried to bring comfort to the girl and Hermione with her face to the ground, talking to her sister in her head.

"Death's awfully sad, isn't it sir?"

"Miss. Granger, that has to be the understatement of the century."

Hermione laughed slightly, shaking her head at the sneer that she could hear even if she couldn't see it.

"No, but- I mean, when some people die they have hundreds of people to mourn them, to miss them and remember them and when others die there is no-one. They just get forgotten. But when you die no matter how well liked you were or not, it means nothing. You just die. It doesn't matter how nice you are, it doesn't delay it. We all go to the same place in the end."

"What, no romanticised views of an afterlife?"

"I'll have you know sir that I am a born and raised Christian. I believe in heaven and hell and all that but... if I am wrong about all that, assuming that no religion is right, then I die and that's it. Candle goes out, switch turns off, gone. But if I'm right, assuming all religions are right, then there will be a whole host of people who will be condemned for not believing... It's complicated and sad."

Severus sighed... How the hell did this girl go from sobbing wreck on minute to arguing the toss about religion the next?

"Firstly, as a witch you should know that we have confirmed the existence of an afterlife. That goes for muggle and magic alike. And second of all according to most religions if you don't pick the right one, which they all say they are, then you go to hell anyway."

"I don't believe that."

"Of course you don't."

"I believe all ladders lead to the same place."

Before Severus could ask what ladders had to do with anything a voice cut into their bizarre conversation.

"Erm, excuse me."

They both turned to look at a haggard looking muggle woman. Her clothes hung off her thin frame and her dirty blonde hair hung limply around her gaunt face. Her watery blue eyes latched onto Hermione, looking past her for a second before flickering back.

"Is it you that- that leaves the flowers for Marie?"

Hermione nodded mutely, wondering if she was going to be told off. The woman's narrow lips twisted up into the slightest of smiles before falling back down to their original state.

"Thank you. I want- I always want to but, it's hard. She was only- It's so hard."

Hermione smiled kindly at the woman, nodding in understanding. She stood for a moment longer before unsteadily walking away. Hermione couldn't tear her eyes away from her; she was the gaunt face to an unknown name, one less mystery.

* * *

><p>They stayed for five minutes more, Hermione pulled out some weeds that had wormed their way up the side of Lily's grave. This took thirty seconds... it took four minutes and thirty seconds to convince professor Snape to at the very least transfigure his outer robes into a trench coat. Finally they were on the way to town, Severus still following behind in a manner he insisted wasn't sulky.<p>

Hermione made a bee line for the local WHSmith's, it had been too long since she had been in a muggle book shop. Magical books were all well and good but the wizarding world's literature left much to be desired. There really was nothing like Austen, the Bronte's and Shakespeare, not to mention all the modern stuff... and she promised to get Ginny a Mills and Boone book. She dreaded that particular purchase but a promise is a promise.

She picked up a book that seemed interesting. Her eyes widened when she read the back cover. '_Amanda struggles between what she knows is right and what feels right. She knows she shouldn't be in love with her teacher, she knows she shouldn't be having an affair with him but she can't help loving him. What happens when both their dark pasts begin to catch up on them, is she really over her sister's death and is he really over his first love?'_

She dropped the book in shock, it was as if it was written about her, she glanced around to look for her professor and found him engrossed in the classics section. The book did look very interesting but... did she dare buy it in front of her very own taboo crush... after a moments debate she through it in along with Ginny's The Doctor's Virgin Bride... might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.

She shuddered at the thought of what might happen if Molly found Ginny's book, the red head had begged for one after learning about them in muggle studies. Hermione was going to put some extra strength repellent charms on it the second she got back to the castle. She could really do without getting howlers about providing the woman's precious baby with muggle porn books... Hermione contemplated putting the sodding thing back until she saw that Professor Snape was heading straight back towards her with a determined look in his eyes and if she put it back now he would see where she got it from.

A few more random books joined her growing pile along with several note books and pens. Professor Snape made it to her with a couple of books in his hands.

"Miss Granger, I will be getting these. However, it's been a while since I have been at a muggle shop and I'm not sure of the procedure."

"No problem sir, pop them in the basket."

"That isn't necessary Miss Granger. Just tell me what to do."

"Put them in and I'll get them for you."

"I can pay for my own books."

"So? Professor Dumbledore gave me this money, I'm sure he wouldn't mind paying for your stuff too."

She swiped them from him before he could voice further argument. Severus snarled at the girl but refused to lower himself to snatch them out of the basket. He cast a quick eye over the girl's items before rolling his eyes at the number of frivolous fiction books. He hadn't taken the girl for a fantasist.

Shortly after paying for the ever growing pile of books, seven of which Severus did admit to ownership, Hermione dragged him into a couple of muggle clothing stores and forced him to wait for her whilst she got several t-shirts and hooded tops.

"My my Miss Granger, a closet Slytherin?"

Hermione looked at him over the top of the forest green hoody she had picked up.

"No sir, I just really like this colour. It's just unfortunate that it has those connections but you can't blame a colour for that."

"Watch yourself Granger. That's my house you're talking about."

Hermione snickered and put it over her arm with the other tops. Severus note that the money she paid for those with came from a separate pocket entirely. Was she worried about thieves? Perhaps that's why she separated her money. Not a bad idea. Although more a Slytherin tactic than a Gryffindor, he idly wondered whether six years of counselling with him was starting to rub off on the bushy haired girl. He hoped so... it would really piss Minerva off.

* * *

><p>They arrived back at Hogwarts with a deafening crack, Severus looked at the pale girl with a smirk, he had of course insisted they do side along and had taken the lead with glee as Hermione groaned in preparation of the wave of nausea to come. They wandered up to the castle in silence, Hermione thinking about how she could show him her book and Severus dreading the up and coming meeting with Albus.<p>

Just as Hermione started to climb the stairs back to her room he called out to her.

"Miss Granger, store your things then make your way to the headmaster's office."

He offered her no explanation and left with his customary swoop of his newly transfigured robes. Hermione found herself unconsciously trudging to her rooms, every particle dreading the up and coming meeting. Perhaps they had changed their minds about her being head girl... maybe they were going to send her home. Her stomach clenched in dread, she really, really didn't want to go home. Back to the noise and the cutting quips and the sidelong looks when they didn't think she was looking. She mumbled the password to the weeping girl and, to her shame, didn't even try and find out what had set her off this time. Hermione placed her bags on the settee and checked the purse that professor Dumbledore had provided her. She had spent twenty odd pounds; she slipped what remained of her own money into the purse so that she didn't seem too greedy.

Reluctantly she decided there was no way she could delay it any longer and made her way to the gargoyle.

She stood in front of the aged gargoyle in frustration. What the hell was the password? She was sure she had known it but now she was here she didn't have a clue. She had exhausted all the wizarding sweets she could think of and had moved on to main brand muggle ones.

"Erm... Smarties?"

It didn't move, Hermione almost shrieked in frustration. She had gotten herself so geared up for this meeting and now she couldn't even get in. '_maybe I should just go back to my rooms and find the letter, __**and waste more time? **__This is so annoying!'_

"Oh for Pete's sake! I have a meeting with the professor."

The grotesque statue lurched to the side with a start. Hermione growled at it as she passed it. It could have said that she could just go, she knew the sodding thing could talk, she had seen it talking to professor Dumbledore. She could have sworn she had seen the blasted lump of rock snickering at her as she ran up the moving steps. It wouldn't do to keep them waiting any longer for her.

She knocked on the door and waited patiently for it to swing open before stepping into the stiflingly warm room. The customary lemon tang hit her nose as she moved further into the cluttered room. The mountains of paper had diminished slightly but in places the floor was still hidden by the yellowed mounds of parchment. She stepped cautiously around the crinkled piles and made her way towards the desk.

Albus sat in his tall wingback chair, flanked by Severus and Minerva. Minerva had her stern face on but there was a warmth to the woman's eyes that was not present in her dour professor's sneer. '_They're going to demote me; they're going to send me home.' _

Severus's dark eyes flickered over her face rapidly before he stepped forward and put a warning hand on Albus's shoulder. Hermione gulped and fought against her knees which were bowing together in her fright. Severus's ebony locks obscured his face as he bent down and whispered in his ear. Albus's face displayed his shock, he held out a welcoming hand to her and gestured the seat in front of the cluttered desk.

"Please Miss Granger, take a seat. Nothing bad I promise you my dear."

Hermione sank gratefully into the plush seat, the warmth from the fire heating her left side, leaving her right feeling almost bereft although the room itself was not cold.

Albus leaned forward, resting his chin on his finger tips. He glanced at her from over his glinting spectacles. Hermione fought the urge to fidget in the awkward silence. The distant ticking of a clock was the only thing to penetrate the thick atmosphere. Minerva examined the cuff of her robe whilst Severus took to picking at the edges of his chipped nails. This matter required a level of delicacy and so they didn't mind waiting for the old man to gather his thoughts and ponder his wording.

"Miss Granger, what do you think of muggleborns?"

Severus's head fell into his palm with a dull thud. Really, had he really expected more from the 'greatest wizard living'?

* * *

><p>So there you go, that's what I've got for this one... sorry it's taken so long... stupid exams and auditions kept popping up from nowhere. like i've said I'm not particularly happy with this chapter but I've edited as much of it as I can and I need some of the stuff I've introduced in it for later chapters... So please review and let me know what you think and once again <span>please don't ever think I'm holding a chapter for ransom<span>, when I say could I have for example ten reviews it's not ten or you don't get the next chapter it's just a request =)

Till next time guys =)

Wp2 xx


	6. Chats and spells

I am so sorry for the delay guys, i have had major coursework, exam and personal issues =(, i hope you're still with me and will enjoy this chapter, please let me know. I'll try and be quicker with the updates. Enjoy.

* * *

><p>Hermione sat in shock.<p>

What... the... hell?

"I-um- I don't quite understand the question sir."

Albus nodded sagely whilst Minerva did an excellent impression of a fish, her gaping mouth flapping in a manner that would have been comical if Hermione hadn't been so.. so... shocked.

"What I mean, my dear, is as a muggleborn, do you feel we did everything possible to acclimatise you to the magical world before you joined it?"

"Am I allowed to answer honestly?"

"Not only allowed my dear, encouraged."

"No, I think that you did a pretty poor job of it."

Albus sat back in his seat, the smile gone but the twinkle still going strong. Severus and Minerva pulled up a chair and took their seats quickly. Albus told her to expand on her answer and she took a moment to think on it.

"Well, I got the letter at eleven years old, having thought all my life that I was a freak. I had had no support, my parents didn't understand me and teachers couldn't work out if I was being bullied or doing the bullying because people who picked on me ended up in bad situations. Then I got my letter and I was expected to trust that it wasn't some elaborate lie that the other kids at school had done to wind me up. Then you turned up at my doorstep, told my parents I was really a witch, showed them magic to prove it then whisked me off to Diagon alley to get my supplies, there was no time to think about it or decide whether or not I wanted to go."

Professor McGonagall sat straighter in her chair as she spoke, looking fairly confused and perhaps a little insulted. "Why wouldn't you have wanted to come?" Hermione sighed as she thought back on it, the whole incident had been just another incident for her mother to complain about Hermione and praise Lily.

"I had been examined for a grammar school in the area and had passed the test with flying colours and I was incredibly excited to go there and suddenly I wasn't going, I'm going to some place in Scotland. My parents have never really got their heads around it because everything happened so fast, they don't understand magic and it kind of scares them. I came to Hogwarts with no idea of the prejudice that I was going to have to put up with. You never mentioned any of it, you made it seem like some idyllic place where I could fit in and that was a lie. Sorry sir."

Albus raised a hand in understanding and shook his head, he had long ago acknowledged his short comings when it came to his muggleborn students, he preached for unity and togetherness yet to avoid a war within Hogwarts walls he ignored the racial abuse, hoping against hope that the children would come to an understanding, thinking that if he intervened he would only make the prejudice worse. How wrong he had been.

"Not at all Miss Granger. How do you propose we tackle this?"

"Well, if 'Hogwarts: a history' is correct then you have a list of students eligible to come to school the next September. I would suggest making the charm work from birth rather than who is coming the next year and then I would suggest getting in touch with the parents a lot sooner. They need time to think as well, not to mention it would stop them thinking that there was something wrong with their child. They would have answers before there were questions. They would have time to decide what they want to do and maybe even do a little research for themselves, get comfortable with the world they are sending their children into even if they don't really have a say in them going."

Albus chuckled, he should have known that she would come up with the exact same solution he had.

"Miss Granger, as usual I am impressed with your deductions. I am puzzled by one thing though."

"Sir?"

"Who should tell them? My thoughts were to have myself, the headmaster, the deputy head and the deputy's deputy, that's Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape. But we are two purebloods and one half-blood. We were all aware of magic before we came here and so we would have little understanding of what the parents and children in question were going through, would'nt it be prudent to have someone who could talk to them about their own experiences?"

"Oh, you mean take a muggleborn student with you! That's a brilliant idea sir."

"Thank you, and who better than our very own head girl?"

Hermione flushed, she hadn't meant herself. She couldn't imagine what she would need to say to them.

"Another problem has arisen however, a slightly more serious one."

"Sir?"

"When we extended the charms from who was eligible for that year we found thousands and thousands of... missed people. People who either were born too late for one year but too early for the next and some people who... developed their magic later than the original charms had set the limit."

"I had wondered about that."

"Care to explain, Miss Granger?" Professor Snape leant forward as he spoke and for one sickening moment she thought she had misspoke. Would _she _really want Hermione talking about this... then again if they had extended the charms and found them they would find _her _eventually.

"My cousin, she's just gone twenty one and... well, she's a witch. She started having "episodes" when she was twelve. She would disappear from one place and reappear in other places. People couldn't hurt her, if they ever tried to hit her they were thrown back. Whenever she got ill or emotional things would move in the house. That's exactly what happened to me but when I was a lot younger, she seems to be a lot stronger than me. When she wasn't at Hogwarts I had wondered if it was something else. But from what you've said she's just a late developer. It disappeared for a while but when she was seventeen it came back after... it came back."

"Late developer... I like that, we'll use that. Am I safe to assume that there was an incident when she was seventeen that triggered her magical re-emergence that you don't feel comfortable talking to us about."

"Yes sir. What can you do then? For the younger ones you could just slip them into the right age group after a crash course on what they've missed. But people like my cousin aren't going to want to come into a school with children."

"We will run a course for older students. They will not be part of the main school as such, accommodation will be different for them as well, they will be provided homes on the outskirts of the castle instead of dorm rooms."

"That sounds brilliant sir! When do we start with talking to the younger students?"

"There really is no time like the present Miss Granger. I would suggest flooing back to your quarters and freshening up and wearing whatever muggle clothes you feel are appropriate and flooing straight back here... we wouldn't want there to be an issue with any gargoyles now would we?"

Hermione blushed furiously as the twinkle intensified massively.

* * *

><p>She hurriedly complied with his instructions. She ran around her rooms grabbing anything that looked both muggle and smart. She grabbed some clean jeans and some blue pumps before throwing them away from her and grabbing her black ones. She needed to look smart not student... even though she is a... Why couldn't the professor have said what he wanted her to wear? It would have been so much easier.<p>

She slipped a blue silken blouse on and grabbed her wide toothed comb. Katherine would be furious if she didn't separate her curls out and she was going out in public.

''''Flashback'''''

"...And they said that my hair was so bushy that even birds wouldn't nest in it. And then Pansy Parkinson said I had head lice... She doesn't even know what head lice are! She only heard about them in muggle studies."

Hermione snuggled closer into the comforting warmth of her cousin. The older girl brushed her hair back from her red face. They had hidden themselves away in an alcove, hiding beneath the wonky wreaths and flashing Christmas lights. There, in the shadow of the Granger's Christmas tree, Hermione bared her soul to her cousin. She sobbed about the racist taunts, the cutting jibes and the sneering students who made her wish that the only magic she knew about was in the fairy tales she read when she was little. Although she was fifteen the stress and strain of the years of bullying were catching up to Hermione and she sobbed like a small child again.

"Fuck 'em! Don't look at me like that; it's not the first time you've heard someone swear. Seriously though, if they are so pathetic that all they can think of to pick on someone is things they can't help then they aren't worth the air they breathe."

Hermione looked into the smokey brown eyes that had brought her so much comfort over the years. She put her hand on the delicate swell of Katherine's belly and felt the baby squirm under her palm. She rested her head on the bump and began to speak to the little one.

"Can you hear me baby? Are you coming soon?"

"Uh, never mind baby. There is stuff we can do you know, to give them less to pick at."

"What do you mean?"

Katherine examined a frizzy segment of hair. It stood alone, looping round and round, like one part of a whole. She traced it back to her scalp and pulled gently till she held a full ringlet curl in her hand. She pulled a mock serious face as she stroked he imaginary beard pulling a giggle from the still sniffling girl.

"Mmhmm. I thought so. You need to stop using bristle brush young lady. Your hair is naturally curly and when you use brushes with lots of fine bristles what you do is pull them into separate strands making it look-"

"Frizzy."

"Yep. Come on."

Hermione remembered Katherine dragging her up the stairs and brushing her hair out for over an hour till it all lay in beautiful, sleek curls.

Hermione hadn't felt happier with how she looked than when she had gone back down the stairs in her Christmas dress with her hair looking like it belonged to an angel on top of a luxurious tree.

'''''End Flashback'''''

Hermione hadn't kept up to it, it took her ten minutes to do now that she had practice but it still felt like a ridiculous amount of time to spend on your hair. Time better spent reading, learning and relaxing.

Now, Hermione was meticulous as she pulled the brush through. She applied some light make up as she kept a watchful eye on the clock. What would she say? What would they ask? She hoped that she wouldn't let her professors down; nerves flittered around in her stomach at the thought of embarrassing them.

She slipped through the fire after a moments more hesitation. Professor Dumbledore smiled his approval, Professor McGonagall voiced hers, much to Hermione's embarrassment.

"Well dear you look lovely. Honestly that colour really suites you, and the cut isn't too low on that blouse, wouldn't want to be flashing the parents now would we."

Hermione forced out a titter as the older woman snorted at her own joke. She studiously avoided the gaze of her potions master, she was hoping beyond hope that this little excursion would mean a cancelled session and maybe... just maybe he would forget about seeing her book.

"Miss Granger, I would like to remind you that we still have our session tonight. Bring _all _materials with you."

Hermione internally groaned, it was like he could hear her. She stood to one side, trying not to brood, as Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore swept by her and straight into the fire place, she took Severus's proffered arm and closed her eyes against the dizzying swirl of floo travel.

They landed in a dark living room, a thin couple sat in one corner of the room, staring at them warily. An obese child played on the rug at their feet, Hermione put him at no more than five. Hermione listened as the professors talked to the sallow couple whilst trying to subtly shift her legs away from the child's grubby, chocolaty hands. He tried repeatedly to wipe them on her legs before finally giving up and turning his attention to Severus. Hermione watched, stifling a giggle, as the child gripped tightly on the dour professor's cloak and began wipping his sticky face on the mass of black fabric whilst the professor did a sterling job of pretending he hadn't noticed.

In fact Hermione could have put money to the fact that she only knew he had noticed and was, in fact, bothered by the child's actions because she had spent so long with the man both inside and out of school (courtesy of summers spent in Grimauld Place). The slight twitch of his left eye and the deep crease between his inky eyebrows told Hermione all she needed to know.

"Wouldn't you agree Miss Granger?"

Hermione looked at the expectant faces of her teachers and the parents, she had been so caught up in her musings about her crush and the revolting child she had completely lost track of the conversation. She now had two choices, number one : admit that she had completely lost track of what was being said and embarrass herself or number two: agree blindly and hope they don't ask for anymore.

Severus looked at the girl who was clearly struggling and felt a pang of almost pity for her, she needed help and he would give it to her in the best way he could. Legilimency.

_Do you think the magical world is a better place to live for muggleborns than the muggle world?_

Hermione was startled by the voice of her potions master in her head, clearly some kind of delusion but she was grateful none the less.

"I don't think I would go as far as saying it was a better place full stop, I think it has its benefits. The magic being one, with the magical world there is the obvious benefit of being surrounded by people in the same situation. He would have nothing to hide if he began living there full time. However given that he will have been raised for the first eleven years of his life in the muggle world not to mention any holidays he spend here, he won't actually be that detached from the muggle world. He is lucky in that he will have all his options open to him after his education at Hogwarts is complete. It all depends on whether or not he wants to have his magical side out in the open or not."

The parents took that answer very well and the thought of the freedom that their son would be given seemed to cheer them right up about the whole situation. Professor Dumbledore nodded in approval although Hermione had to wonder if he was annoyed that she hadn't agreed with him one hundred percent.

_He's fine girl. He's a grown man, he can deal with you not agreeing with his every word!_

_**Oh god I've lost my mind! Now I'm hearing voices in my head... there are worse voices to have in my head I suppose.**_

_You haven't lost your mind Miss Granger. Now focus girl!_

Hermione tuned back into the conversation and all the others they went to that night. Severus however could not have been more distracted. He had pulled away from the girl's mind, why could he still hear her? It was as if she was whispering to him, her anxieties about Dumbledore not approving had filtered into his mind and he had responded without even thinking. This was unheard of, he had pulled away, he pulled away.

For the rest of the evening Severus gave the barest of responses as he tried to shut out all faint traces of the girl's thought from his mind. They clung to him like smoke clings to clothes after a fire, irritating him, smothering him but still only being there in the faintest amounts. He needed to talk to Albus; he may be an interfering old git but there was very little he didn't know about legilimency and what he didn't know was probably not worth knowing anyway. Albus would know.

/2 hours later/

Two hours and four families later Professor Dumbledore called it an evening, Hermione checked her watch, they had missed the evening meal but Hermione wasn't hungry anyway. All she wanted was to slip into the luxurious bath in her rooms and then slip into her bed. Once again she found herself longing for her professor to have forgotten their meeting.

"Miss Granger gather your materials and wait for me in my office. I shall be down presently."

"For fuck sake!"

"What was that Miss Granger?"

Hermione blushed furiously; she hadn't meant to say that out loud. She mumbled a quick apology and left quickly.

Severus waited a full five minutes for Minerva to get the drift and leave, the nosy old bat waited till the very last second before she fully shut the door. Severus only felt comfortable speaking because of the strong silencing spells that Albus had placed on the place when Severus had first become a spy to keep their meeting private.

"Albus, we have a problem."

"What's the matter my boy?"

"Well, I- I used legilimency on Miss Granger this afternoon to assist her-"

"Ah yes, after her little slip in concentration. I had noticed she was struggling to keep up, perhaps I acted with a little too much haste this afternoon, maybe I should have left it till the morning."

"Albus, that's not my point. I used legilimency and I pulled away but I could still hear her in my mind and she could hear me. I have never heard of anything like that before, let alone felt it."

Albus sat in his chair with a tired sigh. He knew he had to tell Severus sooner or later about the link but he had hoped that it would be a lot later.

"Come see me after your meeting with Miss Granger. It doesn't matter what time you finish with the girl, I know they sometimes run late, just come. We have much to discuss my boy."

Severus was frustrated but he knew that he would get no more from the headmaster till he was ready. He went to leave before the man called him back.

"Severus, be good to her. It is imperative. You'll understand soon but... it's vitally important that you treat that girl well."

Severus nodded stiffly, feeling more than a little confused, before leaving in a flurry of dark robes.

_Damn Albus and his need for unclear answers. _

He stormed down to the dungeons with a sneer on his face that could have curdled milk, be good to her, what the hell did that mean? He didn't have time to puzzle it over as he turned onto the corridor where his office was situated.

He cast a revelation spell on the door to see the girl; she was clutching a book tightly in her hand and was pacing furiously on the floor. Occasionally her hand reached up to massage a spot just under her bust. Severus swore at himself for noticing the gentle swell of her youthful breasts, the way they sagged slightly on her chest under their own weight, the exquisite bulge when she took a particularly big breath.

_That settles it old boy; you need to get out more._

"Hello, Professor are you there?"

_Blast, she can still hear me._

He made a muted entrance as the girl turned away from the door to search the darkness from him.

"Miss Granger. Let us start shall we?"

"Yes sir."

"Give me the notebook and I want you to begin brewing blood replenisher. The instructions are on your table, the ingredients are in the cupboard. Any questions?"

"No sir."

Miserably she handed over her book and began prep on her station. Her work table was directly situated between Professor Snape's work table and his desk. Usually she liked this position because it gave her the freedom to watch her professor work; she could see his technique for preparing ingredients and stirring trick potions. When she was the only one brewing she could look over and watch him mark and read or answer his questions as they came. She knew that that was probably a side effect of her crush but she didn't care, it made her happy.

Now, however, she felt completely trapped. She could hardly breathe as she began thinly slicing the willow root and grinding it with green beetle wings. She daren't look up from her work but with every silent second that past she had to fight that little bit harder to not look at the silent man and find out what he was thinking. She settle for letting her hair fall in front of her face and glancing at him from the side, his face was completely blank. He turned each page at a languorous pace; his eyes scanning her inky scrawl, occasionally flipping back to cross examine earlier pages. She bit her lip furiously, harder and harder till she could nearly feel her skin splitting from the force. Why was he so quiet?

Carefully she began stirring the putrid smelling goop, it wouldn't become thinner till the fifth step when it should turn a powder blue colour. As she continued to surreptitiously watch him she added the finely powdered rhino horn allowing the glutinous mass to become a beautiful metallic purple.

Severus was very much aware of Miss Granger's appraisal however he was too wrapped up in the scrawling on the page to reprimand her lack of attention on her work. These spells were...

Magnificent.

Some of them were exceedingly dark, twisted spells that made the seasoned spy pity any possible victims but some of them, the potential they had in any area was incredible. Some of the ones she'd marked down as love and sex spells, with a little rewording, would be phenomenal healing spells. The girl clearly had an aptitude for creating spells, but still he felt a pang of annoyance that she hadn't told him, he could date some of the spells back to her third year given the state of her handwriting, if not earlier. Why had she not told him? Theirs was not a usual relationship, they were a lot closer than most teachers and students even with Severus's desperate attempts to keep the professional distance, but they weren't friends either. Severus wouldn't allow that but, for the first time, he wondered if he had made a mistake in not allowing that closeness. It was not as if the girl didn't respect the boundaries during the school day. Perhaps if they had been on a more informal basis she would have had the inclination to talk to him about her little hobby. He had to wonder what else she had hidden from him.

"Miss Granger... Hermione, please finish the step you are on and put a statis charm on the cauldron."

She did so quickly and stood awkwardly, tugging at the sleeve of her hooded top as he finally turned his attention to her instead of the book. She was gnawing nervously at her lip and her gaze was rooted firmly on the floor. She stood away from his desk, unmoving, like she was afraid that she would crumble from the slightest of movements.

"Please, take a seat."

Hermione hurried to her usual chair, gnawing her lip till it became a sore, flushed cherry mark on her face.

"These spells, why did you make them?"

"W-what do you mean sir?"

Severus sighed and placed the book down to his right, his hand resting on the cover lightly. If he wanted to open up their relationship and make it more... friendly he would need to be honest and open with her.

"You know, I am sure, that I am the creator of a number of spells, including the Sectum Sempra spell that your friend used on Draco Malfoy some years back."

Instinctively Hermione's hand found its way to her chest and she spoke without thinking. It was more about defending Harry than anything else... even if he didn't deserve it. How many times did she have to tell him not to mess with the unknown before he listened?

"And it was used on me sir, in the ministry."

Severus stiffened and looked at the girl in shock. He knew she had been cursed but he had no idea it had been... why hadn't Poppy told him?

"Yes Hermione, and on yourself. I created that after a particularly nasty fight between myself and-"Hermione waited whilst her professor broke off, it was an obviously painful memory and he appeared to be becoming wrapped up in it.

"Harry's father and his friends."

"Yes. I made it because I was angry but also I felt powerless. It's an incredibly powerful spell and it made me feel defended. Why did you make yours?"

Hermione thought of all the times she had felt powerless, all the times her mother had hurt her so much she had thought up a spell that would cause the woman agonising pain whenever she mentioned Lily. Whenever Professor McGonagall or professor Dumbledore or any of the professors she worked so hard to impress compared her to Lily Evans, the perfect beacon for muggleborns ever with oh-so-fucking-perfect hair, she secreted herself away in the room of requirement with a manikin that would take on any face Hermione so desired as she practiced the darkest spells in her repertoire and creating new ones to vent her bitter frustration.

"I was angry, for the nastier ones that is. I needed a way to get it all out before I hurt someone. Other times I needed to counteract what I'd created so I made the healing spells."

"And the _sex _spells, why did you make them?"

Hermione stiffened in her seat at hearing the velvety baritone voice of her cherished professor roll over the word 'sex', almost purring. She struggled to create a coherent reply without stuttering and blushing.

"They didn't start that way sir. They started as healing spells but they didn't seem to work the way I wanted them to."

"Indeed."

Severus spent more time talking to her about the spells and his theories on rewording a few of them. Hermione began to feel more comfortable in being open with him about her reasoning's, with a few exception. They finished the brew together and Hermione left at around one in the morning with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.

She was more than a little shocked to find herself being dragged into an alcove with a hand over her mouth and proceeded to lash out quite violently.

"Hermione, Hermione stop it it's me! It's me!"

She caught a glimpse of platinum blonde hair over her shoulder and Lucius's voice penetrated her ear, filling her with relief.

"I need to talk to you in private and it's urgent, where can we go that's close and you feel comfortable?"

"There's a classroom round the-"

"No darling, it's not one of those talks."

Lucius looked at the girl who he considered his daughter and watched as the worry infiltrated he eyes, knowing there was nothing he could do to dispel that worry. He could only make it worse.

* * *

><p>"Albus, where are you?"<p>

"I'm here m'boy" was the quiet response Severus got from the very back of the unusually dark office. He proceeded with the caution only an ex-spy could posses, edging around darkened piles of paper and hazardous looking objects. He didn't make a sound in his approach but he knew that Albus would know exactly where he was.

"Severus, please sit."

Albus observed the dour man as he rested rigidly in the purple and lime green polka dot, stuffed arm chair. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have but a conversation with Lucius Malfoy reminded him they were no longer at war and he had no right to withhold this information from Severus. He just wished that he had had more time to collect information for his faithful friend before his conscience kicked in.

"You are aware of the issue you had this afternoon concerning your legilimency... that is to say... My boy I am finding this incredibly difficult. It came to my attention, through Sybil, that there is a connection between you and Miss Ganger."

Severus rolled his eyes and released a hefty sigh. At this rate it would be a long night. Yet, he couldn't help but feel slightly anxious; it was never a good sign when Albus struggled to find the right words. He always knew what to say even if it did take him a lifetime to get there.

"Albus, the only connection between Miss Granger and myself has been forced by you."

Albus couldn't help the wince, if only his long time friend knew how true those words were, he was the one who asked Severus to perform legilimency on the distressed child, he caused the initial link and now...

"Severus, what do you know of soul bonds?"

"That they are very rare and quite ridiculous."

"Explain?"

"The idea that a couple can enhance each other's magical ability, that they are 'soul mates', that skills are transferable and they can bring each other comfort that no other could, that they can... they can hear each other's thoughts. Albus- It's, well it's laughable tripe. It's the sort of crap you'd find in Witch Weekly. They were used to encourage pureblood children to accept their parent's choice of a mate. Tell me you aren't putting them on the curriculum Albus, Lucius would throw a fit. On second thoughts put them on, it would be hilarious."

"Severus, this is no laughing matter. You were partially correct about their primary usage, however there was far more to them than that. In the old days there was a spell used to determine a child's bond partner and to join them together, mainly to prevent divorces etc. Severus, once a bond has been made it cannot be un-done, it only grows weaker and when it breaks-"

"One if not both bonded die, I am aware Albus. I'm just not aware of your point old man."

Albus shrank in his chair and rubbed a weary hand over his bespectacled eyes.

"Severus, understand that over the years soul bonds have been greatly romanticised. They are not 'tripe' they are real and they are powerful. Severus, how have you been sleeping."

"Excuse me?"

"Sleeping, who is in your dreams."

"My dreams are none of your concern you old codger. If you have nothing of relevance to say to me then I will take my leave. I came to you with a serious issue and you are babbling on about soul bonds. If you'll excuse me, I am quite tired, being dribbled on apparently takes it out of me."

"Cast the spell Severus."

Severus paused in his efforts to rise. The tiny voice in the back of his head, the one that had kept him alive through years of service to the Dark Lord was telling him to run, telling him that he didn't want to hear the rest. Deep down, when Severus reflected on this conversation later, he knew he had known exactly where this was going. He just refused to face it, couldn't bare it.

"Albus, I refuse to be a party to your madness any further, I am leaving."

"Please my friend, humour an old man. Cast the Gemina Anima over yourself."

Severus paused, the bitter reality of this situation finally catching up to him.

"Albus, I don't like this. I don't want this anymore. I want to be free, I just... I just want to live."

Albus's eyes sparkled but not with his usual glee. Unshed tears rose in the blue depths as he heard the choked pain in his desperate friend's voice. He had heard that tone when he begged for Lily Potter's, he had heard that tone when Lily had died, he had heard that tone when Albus had dismissed him from this very office after telling him that nothing would be done to the students who sent him to a room with an uncontrolled werewolf and that he would do well to forget the incident had ever happened. The small, pleading of a boy desperate to stay at Hogwarts over the summer so that his abusive father could not hurt him anymore rang in Albus's ears and as he looked at the boy now he could have wept for the unending pain in this child's life. Severus Snape was very much still a child in Albus's eyes. He could only hope that Severus would embrace the bond, the comfort of another human being and not see it as another service, another master, thrust onto his frail shoulders.

"Please Severus."

Severus reared in his seat to hear those words, the words that condemned him to living a lie for nearly two years. The words that had him branded a traitor by all and sundry. And these words coming yet again from this man could only bring him more pain.

With a bitter resentment he cast the spell, letting the visions take him where they would.

* * *

><p>He was surprised when he "opened his eyes" to see three women waiting for him at a large oak table. The one closest to him looked gaunt, her dark hair obscuring one half of her face, the one eye he could see looked so familiar to him but he couldn't quite place it as it stared through him. She seemed to have an opalescent glow about her and appeared to fade in and out of focus at a steady beat. It was hideous and beautiful to behold.<p>

The woman in the middle of the table he recognised from many visions, as if he could forget his first viewing. Miss Granger's eldest sister sat with her pale face resting in her hand as she studied him, her eyes flitting over him, her lips tilted in a slight smile.

"Well hello there. We didn't think you were ever going to show up. Glad you did though, it was getting boring sitting waiting for you, all we do is sit here, drink tea and chat and believe me after a while you run out of interesting things to chat about."

Severus couldn't seem to form words. Why would Miss Granger's sister appear in his vision?

He found he didn't care after his eyes glanced to the left of the table.

There sat, smiling sweetly at him with one hand extended towards him in welcome, was Lily.

His Lily.

* * *

><p>Well there you go then. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and added my story to their list. Please review again. The next chapter is about a quater done so hopefully i'm going to get it finished this week or next and i'll get started straight on the next chapter.<p>

Hope you've enjoyed it.

Wp2 xx


	7. Meeting of the minds

_Lily Potter, _Lily Granger

* * *

><p>Lily.<p>

Her long red hair cascaded over one shoulder and her eyes shone, they were much greener than he remembered, like all the leaves in a forest on a bright summers day. Mutely he took her hand, his heart lurched with grief as he realised he couldn't feel anything, no warmth, not even pressure. His greedy eyes desperately took in her relaxed form as she smiled at him in a way she only did in his dreams and memories from the past.

"_Oh Sev, words cannot describe how grateful I am to you. You saved my son, you risked your life for him_."

"Not for him Lily, never ever for him!"

Lily squeezed his hand before disengaging from him with ease.

"_I never deserved your love Severus. I was blind and I was frightened and wrong. What you said hurt but I was just as bad. There wasn't a day, Severus, a day that went by that I didn't regret severing my ties with you, I was stupid, I thought I could change you. I didn't realise that you didn't need changing till it was far too late. I am truly sorry my friend_."

"You have nothing to apologise for Lily. It was me, it was all me."

"_No Sev. It was us, that was the problem, you were happy to take the blame and I was happy to give it. But luckily the young lady we are here to talk about is so much better than me and more than worthy of your love_."

Severus shook his head adamantly. No-one would ever take Lily's place in his heart, not now, not ever.

"Oi, don't be so sure of that pigeon. This girl is great so stop being so stubborn."

He barely looked at the wrong Lily, as he had dubbed her in his mind, at her outburst. He was too busy trying to re-memorise every feature on his Lily's face. She looked so well compared to the last time he had seen her when the pallor of death had shrouded her usually bright features.

"_You aren't looking so bad yourself Sev; you've put on weight at last! You were always too skinny_."

"You can hear my thoughts, does that mean-"

"Not unless it means the same for me too because, in case you didn't notice, I was privy on your thoughts a few moments ago. Now shall we kick things off or are you two just going to sit there and play the 'It's all my fault' 'no it's mine and you are far prettier than me' ' No I'm not you are.' Game because I have to tell you, you are both pretty and I'm getting bored."

The right Lily muffled a giggle with her hand at the wrong Lily's snappy comments. The poor girl hadn't been joking when she had said she was getting bored. Severus turned to sit properly in his seat, as much as he longed to talk with Lily till the day he died and could hopefully join her, he was there for answers. His Lily's face fell and she looked pained.

"_You wouldn't join me Sev, not like that. I'm sorry, James is-_"

"Stop it, leave the poor guy alone Potter, you have done enough damage to him and I would really like to get the ball rolling, the sooner we get things going the sooner _you _can be out of my sister's life!"

"_It's not my fault that the teachers do that to her, I hate it. Your parents are no better! But you are right, this is something that we need to work on perhaps-_"

"A little meddling wouldn't hurt, I suppose. They didn't say we couldn't _fix _a few things to help this progress."

"_You read my mind Granger_."

The two women clasped hands in a manner reminiscent to every conspirator that decided they would take things into their own hands. Seemingly Granger Lily's anger had melted away. Severus was left with confusion in his head and dread in his chest as he asked the two what Miss Granger had to do with anything. They exchanged glances before turning to face him fully again.

"_Why are you here_."

"Because Albus is a cryptic prick who wouldn't leave me alone."

"Yes, but what are you trying to find out?"

"If I have a soul bond and who that bond is with."

"_Well, why don't you take a look_."

Lily's red hair fell over her shoulder as she pointed behind him.

Severus saw a large gilded mirror taking up a large portion of the room. He cautiously stood and began to walk towards the giant object. There appeared to be mist in the reflection of the room and, though he could see the reflection of the women, he could not see himself. He could see the barest of outlines though, approaching as cautiously as he was. The womanly curves were the first real thing he saw, this person was no stick figure, she had a form that in any other circumstance would have made Severus's mouth water. He ignored the gagging sounds that wrong, Granger Lily was making behind him and continued his approach. Long, riotous curls appeared next, from honey to chocolate brown. Laying in thick masses on her shoulders and appearing to extend a small ways to rest on her shoulder blades if the outline was anything to go by. Finally the face, beautiful, rich brown eyes framed by dark lashes sat on a pale, freckled face. Plump lips, slightly red from excessive chewing parted in shock as she seemed to examine him right back. Her hand reached out and rested on the glass before she seemed to freeze.

"What the fuck is this?"

"Well she had to freeze because these conversations are happening at the same time and it would be better for your "budding relationship" if she didn't see this."

"That is not what I meant and you fucking know it," He roared, spittle flying him his snarling mouth as his dark eyes blazed with angry fire, "Why the fuck is Granger there?"

"_Sev , she is your bonded_."

Severus didn't take the time to process his Lily's words before he flew to where his chair was resting and flung it with all his might at the antique. It did nothing but bounce back off it harmlessly, if anything this seemed to fuel his anger more. Again and again and again he threw it with the same unsatisfying result. The women did nothing but watch him mutely, the best thing to do was to let him work his anger out before trying to talk to him.

It could have been hours or seconds till Severus finally calmed down. He slumped to the floor in defeat after none of his best efforts produced any results. He looked at Granger, whose hand lay still on the glass, what right did she have to be so calm and nicely frozen in peace when he was having his life thrown about AGAIN with no choice about it. There was nothing he could do, he couldn't ignore the bond... then again, if he did he would die. Finally there would be peace for him.

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

He turned his head lazily to look at wrong Lily who had raised to her feet, palms pressed indignantly into the table as she leaned to look at him.

"Don't you dare you fucking prick! You do that and it won't be you that dies! You'd last, it'd hurt but you'd last."

"What are you talking about."

"Look. Down."

And he did, and for the very first time he noticed it. A thin, anaemic looking golden thread attaching his chest to the mirror girl's. He examined his end, it was smooth, sleek, almost beautiful if it wasn't a physical representation of the chains he felt binding him down once more. Then he looked at hers.

It looked wrong.

He cautiously stood and walked back over to the mocking reflection. Where his string was intact and strong, her end was fraying and pale.

"So what, already she's giving up on me. I'm apparently putting my all in subconsciously and she's got a broken thread."

"Shut the fuck up and sit down."

He turned back, almost unsurprised to see his chair back in its original positioning. He slumped gracelessly down, uncaring of the impression he was making, and gazed at wrong Lily. Waiting for her to explain.

"Her end is damaged because of you! You are horrible to her, treat her badly and her end frays. She feels inferior to the ginger over here and her end frays. Your end is perfect because she has done nothing but respect you. Believe it or not that is the best her end has looked in a long while, you were nice to her this afternoon and it fixed a little bit. But if you 'ignore' it as you were planning to do she would die of heartbreak. She is the one putting everything in and getting fuck all back."

"_Language Lily_."

"You aren't my mum."

"_She'd tell you the same thing though_."

Wrong Lily rolled her eyes as Severus turned back. The mirror was now bare.

"Hey, where did she go?"

"Like I said, these conversations are essentially happening at the same time."

Severus ran a weary hand over his eyes. He had never felt so tired, so worn. Like a dense shroud had fallen over him and he wasn't strong enough to carry it, his energy was seeping out from him and he could feel it.

"Don't worry about that, it's ok sweetie."

"_It'll get easier every time we visit you Sev. You're going to sleep deeply tonight, make sure you eat well tomorrow."_

He desperately wanted to tell them both to stop mothering but he couldn't even open his mouth. As his heavy lids began to droop over his dark eyes more often than he could keep them open he felt the strangest sensation fluttering over his body. Like pins and needles but less harsh, he felt as if he was drifting and floating through a thick liquid. Both Lilys rose to stand by him, each holding his hand.

"_Severus, you must try and relax. It won't hurt but you are returning now. You'll see us again, don't fight it."_

"And be nice to Hermione, it's no more her fault than yours. She didn't ask for it and it's her that's suffering the most. You've been so good to her Snape, please continue to be good to her now."

* * *

><p>Lucius followed Hermione to her quarters; it would be better for her to be there where she was comfortable and knew she was safe. Albus was a real swine asking Lucius to do this! How could he tell her that her life was in her crushes hands, that he would more than likely reject her but she had to try and keep going. It was so unfair, she was so young and Severus was so bitter. She already struggled with her life; not fitting in her own skin but this... it was a step too far in anyone's book.<p>

Hermione mumbled the password and stepped through the hole into the dark room, she stumbled around to find the knob that would turn the lights on. Lucius stood patiently in the doorway waiting for her to get sorted before entering her domain, it was predictably clean, several books adorned the table and chairs and the paper bin was overflowing but apart from that Hermione's room was immaculate... then again he was comparing her room to Draco's, the boy lived like a pig and really there was no excuse for it considering all he had to do was call one of their seventy three house elves. That had to be the height of laziness! Little sod!

"Come in sir."

"It's still Lucius sweetheart."

"Sorry Lucius, I just feel weird calling my Professor by his given name."

"Well I tell you what, you can use my given name all the time till the school year starts and then you can use it after school every day and pretty freely during the holiday when it's appropriate."

"Well that seems fair."

Hermione smiled brightly at him, she placed her hoody over the back of one of the chairs and walked into her kitchen and put the kettle on the hob.

"Would you like a drink?"

"I would love a tea please."

Hermione grabbed two cups and began the tediously comforting process of making the tea with leaves. She tried to filter her thoughts as she filtered the dark liquid. Why would Lucius need to wait to tell her something? It was obviously not anything good or he could have just told her. She finally felt comfortable enough to not think that he would be telling her she could no longer be head girl but that left so many other issues it could be, had something happened to her parents? Was she in trouble for something? So many niggling thoughts bit into her mind, it was all she could do to keep her hands steady.

Lucius seated himself and waited for her to finally settle, he knew she was feeling anxious and so instead of bothering her as she stressed he let her do it. Years of marriage with Narcissa told him that when a woman needed to stress there was nothing you could do about it, you could only let her stress in her own way or get her stressed at you (which usually meant no sex with Narcissa). He would let her faff with tea and strainers and whole milk or semi skimmed. If anything it gave him more time to focus on what he would say.

Hermione seated herself on the settee next to Lucius and breathed in the soothing aroma of the tea, it had been a long day and it was going to be a long day tomorrow as well if Professor Dumbledore had anything to do with it. There were so many families to see tomorrow and so many to see all together that Professor Dumbledore had written to all the students informing them they had an extra week! Four weeks it was going to take to get through the families at their convenience, the professor was going to draft up a schedule of when they were going to see people and when they would get time off. It wasn't going to be a fun job on the whole but the work was certainly worthwhile.

"So then, you needed to talk."

Lucius sipped his tea before lounging back in his seat.

"Hermione, what I have to tell you is, well, it's complicated. I'm going to go the long way round to tell you so please forgive me."

"Of course."

"I will need you to hold off on questions if you can as well. This is hard enough without having to break off and explain this and that to you." Hermione nodded obediently and Lucius patted her knee in thanks before starting his long winded explanation.

"In the old days pureblood parents had a lot of control over their children. More so than they do now. Arranged marriages were common place and divorces unheard of. Family values in the pureblood society were one of the most important things, in those days. Even money was of lesser important than whether or not you had an honourable family, the poorest of the poor could be better thought of in a public circle than the richest if the state of their family life was better. As such the richer families in particular relied on old, base magic to ensure that their children's families would be as strong as could be. The spell involved determined the child's soul bond. Stronger than a soul mate, there is no tearing that bond asunder, the people are truly matched, they become powerful together and their love is the stuff of legends."

Hermione listened to him speak, entranced. Despite the part of her that bristled at the idea of an arranged marriage it was truly a fascinating story. Little was really recorded about the old ways of pureblood society and most you asked either didn't know or didn't want to say. It was hard for a muggleborn to learn more about the culture of the people they were sharing a world with. Her academics fingers itched to have a pen and notepad.

"When the two people involved touch, and I am talking as innocently as brushing hands, a bond is formed between their souls. Depending on the strength of their relationship depends on the strength and health of the bond."

Hermione bit her lip in confusion as she tried to hold off the instinct to ask her question. Lucius seemed to realise her dilemma and since he had gotten through the bulk of the history he didn't mind answering a quick question.

"Go on Hermione."

"If their love is unparalleled and they were stronger than soul mates how could the bond be anything less than strong and healthy?"

'_The same way yours is close to snapping my poor little girl.' _

"Because people are stubborn. Because emotions can't be forced, if the bond is neglected it wears thin, if one person is more involved than the other it wears thin, if one person is unconfident in the bond... you get the idea. My point is that despite the people being bonded like that it is their relationship itself that will determine if the bond lasts. But, that is to say, the bond must last."

"Why?"

"Hermione, once a bond has been made the only thing that can break it is the heartache created by the people, if you're lucky it snaps in the middle and the people will pine for each other for the rest of their lives if they don't relent and reconnect. If you aren't lucky it snaps at one side and..." Lucius paused as he tried to find the right words to explain what happened to the unlucky ones whilst also trying to ignore that this could be the fate of the girl in front of him. "It wounds the soul. Some die instantly and for others it takes time, the soul bleeds out like a physical wound and they die. Muggles have a condition that they call Broken Heart for when people die suddenly after a sudden grievance, ignoring the times when it's to do with the loss of a parent it is common knowledge in our world that it is, in fact, the snapping of a soul bond."

"But I thought it was to do with magic, how can it affect muggles?"

"It's complicated, they don't gain magic but they are magic together. Have you ever known a couple that seem to know what the other wants before they are told, or who are very much still in love the way they were when they first met. Who almost seem magical?"

Hermione thought back to her paternal grandparents. They were like that, it was the sort of relationship that everyone dreams of.

"My grandparents were like that."

"Chances are they were bonded. As you said muggles have no magic to be affected but if they find their bond mate their soul's natural magic becomes more active. Do you have any idea where I'm going with this?"

Hermione shook her head negatively although she had an inkling. Lucius was serious so it had to do with either her or Draco (given his new found father like status to her) or both of them. However years of being friends with Harry and the one incident of mistaken identity with fur had meant she would at least try to not jump to conclusions (although sometimes it was hard not to).

Sighing deeply, Lucius placed him cup down and ran a hand through his hair carelessly. Why would she make the leap from this to Severus and their relationship.

"Hermione, I don't know how to tell you this but you have been bonded-"

"Is it Draco?"

"What? No, why would it be Draco?"

"Well I just thought, what with you being Draco's dad, that would be why you were telling me this."

"Huh, that would make sense but no, not it's not Draco. Hermione, Severus is your bonded."

There was a moment of thick, cloying silence. Her hands fell from anxiously curling her hair as she thought to laying limply in her lap. Her mouth fell open and she felt a little winded.

"No, no, no, it can't be. He hates me, he loves Lily. Severus Snape? No, you're wrong, you have to be wrong."

"I'm sorry sweetheart it's true. Albus said the bond was created the night of your sister's accident."

Tears poured down Hermione's face as she realised the hopelessness of her situation.

"I'm going to die aren't I?"

Lucius sat for a moment before diving across to her and pulling her into his chest, stroking her hair in a vain attempt to comfort her.

"No," He crooned, "No sweetheart I won't let that happen. It's going to be fine I promise you."

For what seemed like an age she sat and cried in his arms, Lucius struggled to think of a time he had felt more helpless. She was terrified, he knew it, but what could he do? Short of putting Severus under an imperious he couldn't make any guarantees. His heart ached for this poor child who had had to grow up too quick and had lost so much but also for the friend who once again had his choice stolen from him. He couldn't imagine Severus being deliberately cruel about this... but at the same time he knew of his friend's quick temper and sharp tongue, Severus wouldn't need to say or do much to cause irreparable damage. Even if Severus decided to just ignore this situation he could inadvertently lead to causing Hermione harm. All they could do is make the most of this situation. Lucius could only pray that his friend would give the girl a chance.

"Hermione, I need to do the spell to determine your partner."

"W-why?" Hermione questioned as she rubbed at her damp eyes with the back of her hand, "You already know who it is."

"Yes but, according to the records there are... guides or guardians- whatever you want to call them, who will help you with... well, everything I suppose. Plus, I'm sure you have questions and I can't answer them all, they will."

Lucius knew it was low to dangle the opportunity of information in front of Hermione's nose to entice her but it was true, there was little if anything else he knew about the bonds. As expected her eyes lit up with the prospect of knowledge and the researcher in her refused to let her back down.

"Ok, do it please."

Lucius quickly obliged. It would be easier for him to do it than for her.

Hermione felt her eyes slip shut and she was aware of a warmth in her chest expanding outwards in her body. The vision in front of her eyes changed from the mixed colours she always saw when her eyes were shut to that of a large white room. An old, oak table drew the eye towards it. Three women sat around it, well, she assumed one of them was a woman, she was shrouded in a shimmering black veil that Hermione couldn't see through. The other two, Hermione couldn't help but recognise.

"Hello sweetie."

"Yes, hello dear, we've been waiting."

Hermione's hand rose of its own volition and she pointed at one of the women.

"You!"

* * *

><p>Hi guys, hope you enjoyed it.<p>

I am sooo sorry for the long wait. Everything was going so well, this chapter was so close to finished it's not even funny when my charger broke and my laptop ran out of juice, I have only just been able to afford a new one now. I am seriously very sorry, there wasn't anything I could do but it feels soooo typical that I promise the new chapter won't take long and it's like my computer went out of its way to make me a liar!

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and added my story and myself to their lists =D.**

Please review and let me know what you think.

Wp2 xx


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